Alice can’t sleep these days; she spends hours mindlessly staring at the ceiling, counting the checkered boxes over and over again. She also spends hours staring at the cold white unslept-in pillow at her side, wondering what she’s going to do now. Alice is a 61 year-old mother of one who lost her husband Pete to a rare form of skin cancer last year. She is retired from her nursing job and so spends the better part of her day quietly in her house.

What happens when your other half suddenly passes away? Many recite the vow “till death do us part” on their wedding day, naively hoping and praying that that eventuality never happens. Are you prepared for this sudden loss? More importantly, will you know what to do? Can you balance the checkbook, do the laundry, cook a meal? Which day is it that we have grand-pa and grand-ma day this month? When are the grand kids’ birthdays? Where is the will? How much insurance do you have?

No-one is ever ready for the reality of a sudden passing of a spouse, but you need to know that if it happens to you, you will know how to function going forward. Here a few changes you may experience:

1.Size of Income

Income is sometimes halved or can even become nonexistent with the death of a spouse.

2. Tax filing status, and the tax implications

It may be appropriate to use an accountant for income tax preparation, especially in the first two years of loss.

3.Socially

When you are no longer part of a couple, friends and acquaintances may not be sure where you fit into the social circle. At times, you’re not sure where you fit in anymore. Don’t be surprised by adjustments, which may mean letting go of old friends. Allow yourself the opportunity to meet new people, when you are ready.

4.Economically

Bills don’t wait for recovery from the death of a loved one. The kids still need money for books and college tuition, food, clothing, and other everyday essentials. Look for help from a financial planner because debt can quickly become overwhelming with a single parent income.

5. Family

As the surviving spouse, you must now be the father and the mother to your children. Ask for help from your children’ aunts and uncles when it comes to gender specific topics likes sex and dating.

6. Support

It can be helpful to accept help from outside sources; family, friends, grief support groups, therapists. The cliché “take it day by day” may be overused but it is exactly what you should do. Live through the first few days, then the next few weeks, push through the next couple of months and so on.  Yes, some days will be excruciating, but you’ll discover there is still joy to be found in your children, your extended family, your job, and even volunteering at the local church or community center.

Losing your wife or husband is a life-altering experience; you never fully recover from it. But it is up to you whether you will wake up and celebrate the life you once shared together and be strong enough to go on and a make a new life on your own.

Boomeryearbook.com is a social networking site connecting the Baby Boomer generation. Share your thoughts, rediscover old friends, or expand your mind with brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join today to discover the many ways we are helping Boomers connect for fun and profit.

Ah… the prostate exam; could there be a more awkward reason to have two men in the same small tiny room? For many men the idea of having a same sex peer ask you to pull your pants down and bend over while he moves his well-lubricated finger inside your exit, is as close to hell as it gets.

But with the rise of prostate cancer in the boomer generation, it’s time for men to suck it up and bend over.

The miseries of a growing prostate gland plague many male baby boomers long before they perceive themselves as aging. Symptoms can appear when a man is in his late 40s, according to urological surgeon Robert Weiss, and include “urinary frequency, often causing a man to get up several times each night, and urgency-difficulty in making it to a bathroom.”

Cancer occurs on the outside of the prostate, which is why physicians check for nodules using a rectal exam. This should be paired with an annual PSA screening (blood test) starting at age 45 for African American men and 50 for others.

The primary risk factor for prostate malignancy—which affects one in six men in the U.S. in their lifetimes—is aging. Under age 40, the incidence is one in 10,000, but it jumps dramatically to one in 38 for 40- to 59-year-olds, and one in 14 for those in their 60s.

With the men of the “baby boomers” generation in the United States approaching target age for prostate cancer screening, the incidence of prostate cancer is expected to increase to 300,000 a year in the next decade. While treatable in earlier stages of the disease, prostate cancer can be much harder to treat in more advanced stages and can be fatal. In fact, prostate cancer is the number two cancer killer in men. This year, an estimated 30,000 will die from the disease. Treatment options for prostate cancer are dictated largely by the stage of the disease, the patient’s age and health, whether the cancer has just been diagnosed or has recurred, and other factors. Of particular concern is the plight of advanced prostate cancer patients.

Every year, 70,000 men require additional treatment due to a recurrence of prostate cancer. If the cancerous cells are not detected during initial treatment or if tumors go undetected, the cancer may spread beyond the prostate. Over time, many patients no longer respond to hormone therapy, meaning they have hormone-refractory prostate cancer. Advanced prostate cancer patients face the development of painful bone metastases at which point they generally have two to three years to live. Quality of life during this stage of treatment can be greatly diminished.

Prostate cancer can be treated easily when caught in its early stages; you just have to be man enough to be a little uncomfortable for a 10-15 minute rectal exam that just could save your life.

Boomeryearbook.com is a social networking site connecting the Baby Boomer generation. Share your thoughts, rediscover old friends, or expand your mind with brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join today to discover the many ways we are helping Boomers connect for fun and profit

Rose is sitting through her 2pm lunch meeting with a colleague at a trendy new restaurant downtown. All of a sudden the air-conditioned room doesn’t seem that cool anymore, she can feel small droplets on her forehead, and bigger ones falling down her back. Fifty-year old Rose is experiencing the once dreaded hot flash, a common symptom in women going through menopause.
For generations, women kept their lips zipped about menopause. Now it makes the roster of every woman’s talk show in the country. They’re on television detailing their symptoms and they’re telling all in best-selling books.

Menopause once considered a taboo, has come out of the closet. Some credit baby boomers for bringing it to everyone’s attention. Menopause is now a hot topic because we have a generation of women accustomed to understanding their own bodies and accustomed to being informed.
The baby boomer generation has redefined every biological, social, and psychological transition they’ve encountered; from sexuality to careers to childrearing. Traditionally, menopause was associated with many negative expectations and perceptions. But, as groundblazers, it was expected that as baby boomers approached menopause, they would want to become empowered so they could play an active role in taking charge of this transition.

Menopause means only the final menstrual period. But according to Dr. Sadja Greenwood, author of “Menopause, Naturally,” the word in common usage designates “a transitional time from a few years before the last menses to a year after it.” Menstruation becomes irregular and ceases because hormone output from the ovaries is declining. It’s that drop in hormone levels that can bring on problems or noticeable signs that the body is undergoing change.

Health care providers say hot flashes, the sudden rise in skin temperature that can leave the recipient hot, sweaty and breathless – are often the symptoms that send women in search of help and information. Other frequent symptoms are mood changes, sudden inexplicable crying and irregular bleeding. It could be incontinence or vaginal dryness resulting in painful sexual intercourse that sends a woman to her OB-GYN. In some cases, the changes are almost imperceptible. A woman is considered through menopause only when she has had no periods or bleeding for 12 months.

Menopause is a subject that’s still regarded as a disorder or a deficiency. For years menopause was viewed in negative terms. It was a time when women dried up, lost their sexuality and attractiveness, for example. At worst it was treated as a mental illness. At best it was regarded as a rite of passage. Today, it’s taking on a new image, emerging as a phase of life that’s manageable with diet, exercise and, sometimes, medication.

Women need to see and understand this change in their bodies as an evolution. They also need to embrace the idea that it’s not all over, there’s a lot more living to do.

Boomeryearbook.com is a social networking site connecting the Baby Boomer generation. Share your thoughts, rediscover old friends, or expand your mind with brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join today to discover the many ways we are helping Boomers connect for fun and profit