Co-Dependency Alanon
Alcoholism has an unfortunate way of sneaking up on people. It begins with loved ones having a drink or two after work or sharing a bottle of wine with dinner. The effect is pleasing; conducive to chatty interchange and has the added benefit of loosening the tongue for those who, when sober, have a tendency to shyness.
The effects are even more pronounced if more alcohol is consumed. Suddenly the bottle of wine is no longer shared. The drink or two after work turns into a four hour drinking binge every night and work colleagues begin to avoid the person, not wishing to be associated with a heavy drinker and also perhaps finding the person’s activities distasteful as drunken behavior begins to more prominently feature.
Not everyone who enjoys a drink is an alcoholic. People in general display different reactions to alcohol and not everyone who can consume enormous amounts of alcohol will be addicted to it. However, an addict will be unable to sustain a sensible relationship with alcohol and will usually be unable, once in its grip, to turn away from alcohol without some form of formal help and support.
Elderly alcoholics might also have elderly problems. Elderly alcoholics will usually have been drinking out of control for many years but one or two exceptions may have turned to alcohol following bereavement or trauma; even the shock of unwanted retirement can sometimes push a person’s alcohol dependency to an unacceptable level. For people with elderly problems who might be on strong medication for age related diseases, alcohol can be extremely dangerous.
Simply taking away the bottle will not be a long term solution to the problem. Someone with an alcohol dependency will move heaven and earth to find a bottle if they are so inclined and addicts are notoriously clever at finding ways to secretly drink. The older a person is, the more likely they are to have perfected a system of drinking secretly and the more annoyed they are likely to be when their subterfuge is finally exposed.
Within a family unit, an elderly drinker with elderly problems might be a grandmother or grandfather accustomed to a level of respect from younger members of the family. Often the drinker is someone who has enjoyed the affection and esteem of the family for many years and only now is being revealed as an alcoholic without sufficient control of his or her drinking. This represents a problem for the family as it is important the alcoholic is faced with the reality of having an alcohol dependency that is out of control.
Taking Granpa by the hand and telling him his drinking will be covered up by the rest of his faithful clan is certainly not going to help him sort out his problems. Seek professional medical help in the first instance, followed by joining a self help support group to kick start a positive approach to drinking for those with elderly problems.
The Hidden Bottle: Dealing with an Alcoholic is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.
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Tags: alcoholism, baby boomer, codependency, Elderly Problems, Psychological Articles