Alcoholism
The recovering alcoholic has learned by stage eight how to apologize and to an extent, how to atone for the considerable offences caused in a variety of ways over the period before the commencement of his or her recovery program. Those with elderly problems might also have accepted that age and frailty does not excuse an alcoholic from the resolve to assess where offence has been caused and to make amends to the best of his ability.
For family and friends who have been close to the recovering alcoholic, it is possible that an enormous change for the better will have been observed and taken on board. Amends will be made on a daily basis in these cases. As the alcoholic returns to a normal life and begins to reliably attend work, those with young children will resume parental responsibility, those with elderly problems might begin a special interest or pastime which includes a level of sociability.
Amends for the damage wrought by an alcoholic who is out of control might range from making a financial compensation for damaged property to a simple apology. People with an alcohol dependency indulge in all kinds of ugly behavior. Some will lie about their work colleagues to cover their own absence, some will steal valuables from their family or rob from their grandmother’s purse to buy a bottle, as for an alcoholic in search of a drink, there are no boundaries that cannot be crossed to achieve access to alcohol. Hardly surprising then that stage eight comprises handling a great deal of humility, personal examination and contrition.
There are occasions when atonement becomes harrowing for the person who is receiving apologies from the recovering alcoholic. Someone in recovery will occasionally perceive their need to make amends as a personal crusade. If the recovering addict also has elderly problems, they might easily misjudge a situation and end up causing more offence in their effort to make up for past behavior.
This is a time when it is important for the alcoholic to ‘step back’ and allow the situation to rest. Often it is more painful to step back than to achieve closure on an incident where deep offence has been caused. Not achieving forgiveness for the past can be difficult to live with but sometimes the recovering alcoholic has no choice.
Stage eithg involves making certain assessments about any number of relationships from the past and whether they can be patched up. The process can be uncomfortable, especially for alcoholics with elderly problems, both from the point of view of being forgiven for misdoing and also when being told that forgiveness will not be possible. The emotions that must be dealt with in stage eight are usually deep guilt, remorse, resolve to change and the ability to know when a situation is not salvageable.
As the alcoholic approaches the end of stage eithg, it is important to view success in terms of how many relationships have been retrieved rather than how many have been lost.
Alcohol Recovery
Alcohol Recovery Stage Eight: Making Amends and Knowing When to Step Back is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.
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Tags: alcoholism, baby boomers, Elderly Problems, Psychological Articles