Kubler Ross: Stages of Grieving
Elderly Problems By Boomeryearbook.com
There are five distinct stages of grief to go through after losing a long term partner. The five stages include: Denial (it has not happened); Anger (why has this happened to me); Bargaining (if I can have him/her back, I will do this or that…); Depression (the loss sets in along with feelings of despair) and finally Acceptance, which entails not just putting up with grief but embracing the future. These stages apply to everyone who has suffered a loss, including baby boomers.
Denial is the worst part of the process as the bereaved person cannot cope with the death of the person they have loved for so long and continues to love in death as if they are still living. The period of denial can continue for many days, weeks or even months. Denial is often accompanied by the inability to cry and until this sad stage is addressed, the grieving process remains in gridlock.
The second stage is anger at the loss and this stage can set entire families at war as they try to come to terms with their personal loss. When a person dies, the death touches each member of the family and the emotions that run high can result in angry confrontation between a bereaved spouse and the children in the family, or between sisters and brothers. Baby boomers who have suffered a bereavement can be highly emotional and the second angry stage of grieving is particularly explosive and difficult to get through. However, the second stage of the process contributes in some way to allowing a little steam to escape which helps diffuse the situation.
Bargaining, of course, never works. Some baby boomers are practiced traders and the bargaining process that is subconsciously tried during the grieving process is a particularly pointless exercise. Nothing can bring back your dead partner but the pointless bargaining somehow focuses the permanence of death.
Depression can take many forms but usually during bereavement it is typified by staying in bed late, refusing to be drawn into meaningful conversation, refusing to talk about the deceased, not getting dressed during the day, drinking to excess, smoking to excess, being generally listless and unmotivated. The depression stage requires help and support from friends and family and each case is different. Should the depression stage continue for a significant period, professional help should be sought.
Acceptance, although welcome is often itself taken in stages. An acceptance of the death need not necessarily be an acceptance of moving forward and care should be taken at this point to observe the bereaved person from a tactful distance, providing practical help where needed and perhaps putting a few social opportunities in place to encourage new friendships. Baby boomers are usually sociable anyway and at this stage in the grieving process, mourning can take a secondary role to making the effort to move on.
Dying is something we all have to do. Grieving is something we all have to do but care and patience can certainly help us through the worst stages.
The Psychological Article on Grieving and Mourning for Baby Boomers is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.
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