Baby Boomers Guide to Being Jilted for Younger Woman

Elderly Problems by Boomeryearbook.com

As we get older, we definitely become more vulnerable, not only physically but also emotionally. While Baby boomers can reasonably expect to spend their retirement years in the company of the husband or wife they promised to love and honor years before, it does not always work out that way, and the trauma caused by being abandoned for a younger model is often too much to bear.

The phrase ‘making a fool of yourself’ with a younger man or woman is bandied around quite frequently amongst baby boomers. It covers a multitude of sins and describes the kind of desperate behavior that an older man might indulge in with a woman young enough to be his daughter or even his granddaughter, or vice versa.

For the person who has left the relationship, there is the novelty and passion of a new relationship. On many occasions, the relationship flounders and the person ends up back on the market within weeks, sorely disillusioned, financially ruined after spending a lifetime’s savings on a silly and frivolous affair and anxious to get back to the nice, comfortable relationship that existed before his or her aberration; usually too late.

For the one left behind when a younger partner arrives on the scene, the heartbreak is unbelievably painful and usually represents the worst emotional disaster the person has ever experienced, akin to bereavement and infinitely more humiliating. In fact, if asked the question, most sufferers of this kind of treatment would choose the death of their partner quite cheerfully.

Some ‘women scorned’ resort to all kinds of bizarre and vengeful acts; such as “keying the car”, delivering their collection of vintage wine to the doorsteps of the entire neighborhood; cutting the legs off all the pants that match their business suits (no point cutting the sleeves because the pants could still be used) – one lady even auctioned her husband’s sports car for $1.50.

The reaction to shabby behavior for men and women can be vengeful or otherwise but the emotional pain suffered is the same and everyone’s reactions and ways of dealing with the pain vary. There is no doubt some satisfaction can be enjoyed in wreaking havoc in the life of someone who has hurt us but the core of the pain remains and still has to be addressed in order for a healing process to begin. Friends and family are a source of practical help in this kind of situation and leaning on those who love us can be a great comfort.

Taking the pain out of betrayal is a tall order and no matter how much a jilted baby boomer lover tries to cope with the pain of being turned aside in favor of someone younger, fitter and probably better looking, the reality will not go away. However, some baby boomers turn to professional therapy for help in these distressing moments; an infinitely more civilized approach than emptying the trash can into your ex’s Porsche.

The Psychological Article on Coping with the Pain of Being Abandoned for a Younger Partner is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

Boomer Yearbook is a Social Network and Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

Baby Boomers Guide to Sex

Elderly Problems by Boomeryearbook.com

All too often you hear of people being criticized for not knowing how to behave. Some people stomp through life’s social minefield without a moment’s hesitation and never seem to step on a bomb: others are blown to bits on the first date and end up being avoided forever. Baby boomers; being of a mature age, might be expected to have already learned the social etiquette that features going out on dates and enjoying the company of members of the opposite gender.

Not so! Baby boomers back in the dating scene are usually there as a result of having a long term partnership come to an end through illness, death or divorce. Getting back in the saddle can be a scary thing when you are past 45 and the only woman you have “dated” also washed your socks and underwear.

Not knowing how to behave leaves you feeling uncomfortable and lacking in confidence; especially if your date is displaying all the signs of knowing exactly what the rules are and how to manipulate them to his (or her) own advantage!

The first thing top remember is to relax and try to ‘be yourself’. This does not mean you should indulge in bad manners – always supposing your manners are good to start with! It means that if you are a kind and decent person to start with, there is no reason to suppose that you need to put on an act to impress someone and remember: they found you attractive enough to want to date you in the first place, right?

Should dinner and dating eventually lead to a sexual adventure, remember it is never a good idea to drink too much and certainly not a good idea to encourage someone else to do so either. If they cannot find you attractive enough to want sex with you sober, they are certain to regret it when they sober up! Keep things on an even and naturally relaxed keel and you will find things take their course. If not, it was probably not meant to be anyway…

Take the time to ask yourself if sex is what you really want before you embark on the kind of relationship that complicates a great friendship and remember your partner might not have indulged in a sexual relationship with someone for many years. Ask nicely about what they want and bear in mind that certain reservations might take a while to disappear. The prospect of seeing a strange man naked after years of celibacy could turn a very warm blooded baby boomer lady as cold as ice if handled badly!

Baby boomers who are returning to a sex life after a long absence would probably be well advised to approach the practical side of sex with some caution and this should include the wearing of a condom. Pregnancy might no longer be an issue but sexual health is always important for those getting on in years as much as for younger adults.

The Psychological Article on Sexual Etiquette for Baby Boomers is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

Boomer Yearbook is a Social Network and Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

Elderly Problems: Street Smarts for Widows

Elderly Problems by Boomeryearbook.com

One of the most difficult aspects of baby boomer widowhood is reaching out for financial help and finding nobody is there. The problem may not be the lack of funds, but knowing what to do with the funds you have.

For women (or in some cases men) who have relied on someone else’s financial know-how for most of their adult life, being left alone to carry the responsibility of wise investment can be an ordeal.

Following the death of a partner, many tasks and chores are left undone for a period as the bereaved partner picks up the reins. Often the amount of responsibility taken by the deceased partner is underestimated until the time when the chores have to be faced by the one left behind. One of these chores might be the paying of bills, the declaration of tax, sensible investment and a tight check on the budget.

Some baby boomer widows are lucky enough to have had a partner with the common sense and consideration to make an allowance for his imminent death and put in place every precaution to ensure his obligations are met. Others are not so fortunate and must struggle with the complications of financial mayhem in addition to the tears and sorrow that accompany bereavement.

Many baby boomer widows find that engaging a reputable accountant in the early days following the death of a partner can make a difference. Some financial responsibilities must be faced early enough to be unpalatable to someone in the first stages of grieving and an accountant can help pick up the most disagreeable paperwork such as transfer of investments, pensions, insurances, property ownership and social security for veterans and veterans’ widows.

For many who find the financial burden hard to handle, a long term friend or someone who has already been through the experience of being widowed might prove most helpful. It is always a good thing to remember that most paperwork does not have to be disposed of in a day or two and it is acceptable to schedule the tasks over several weeks, although many widows recommend completing the bulk of forward financial planning within the first year to avoid unnecessary taxation on capital.

By the age of sixty five, fifty per cent of American women are widows. This encompasses the baby boomer generation, yet most widows feel surprised when their turn unexpectedly comes around above the age of fifty five, despite being well within the average risk bracket. Perhaps it is the baby boomers persistent optimism that keeps us from making timely arrangements for death and bereavement!

To lessen the distress of financial insecurity after death, be sure to encourage your partner to make a will (dying intestate wrecks havoc), check that life insurance is in place for both of you, if your property is insured, check that the insurance covers the bulk of the financial obligation left on the property after death so the surviving partner owns it free and clear.

The Psychological Article on The Widow and her Legacy: Getting Street smart is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

Boomer Yearbook is a Social Network and Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

Kubler Ross: Stages of Grief

Elderly Problems by Boomeryearbook.com

Should you be in the position of helping a person through the grieving process, you are going to be disappointed if you are expecting bells, flags and whistles at stage five! Baby boomers who have survived the first four stages of grief will be emotionally battered and bruised by stage five of the process and often have become a little withdrawn. Friendships might have changed forever by this part of the process and it is important to understand that the changes brought about by death should be embraced rather than reversed.

As people begin to accept what has happened and make the necessary adjustments in their lives to enable them to continue alone, without their long term partner by their side, practical help for others can be a healing tool.

Baby boomers have a lifetime of experience when it comes to emotions. Grieving is one more notch on the post and for someone who has gone through the painful process of grief, a positive outcome can be that they provide help for others in the same dark tunnel.

Stage five of the grieving process is acceptance of death, loss and the pain that necessarily accompanies the grieving process. The inevitability of death is something everyone accepts but few people understand until it is their turn to experience it. When they do, the pain of bereavement can be a thunderbolt as strong people collapse under the weight of unhappiness and pain.

Grieving can present in many guises and often a dainty little baby boomer lady who gives the impression of being frail and incompetent, loses a strong and dominant husband, then shocks everyone with her ability to organize the funeral, conduct her duties as hostess graciously and dry eyed, and put the family home up for sale; all within three weeks. People stand back and admire but all the time she is probably screaming inside and stunningly internally falling apart as she is unable to get through even the first stage of her grieving process.

Understanding the stages of grief can mean a lifeline to those who need support in the worst and darkest moments of their life. Stage five of grief allows the person to emerge into the sunshine after a long and hard process of emotional turmoil. Stage five is acceptance, not only of the death itself but also of the importance to move forward and embrace the change in circumstances.

The dead are no less loved for being laid to rest. We are all dying from the moment we are born and our footprints in other peoples’ lives cause our death to be either passed over as an uninteresting obituary in the local newspaper or an event which affects those who love us for the rest of their own lives.

For some baby boomers, their lives are cut in two by the death of someone close to them and nothing is ever quite the same again: events become related to ‘before’ and ‘after’ their partner died. For others, the five stages of mourning are completed and they are ready to move on.

The Psychological Article on Acceptance: Stage Five of Grieving and Moving On is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

Boomer Yearbook is a Social Network and Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

Kubler Ross: Stages of Grief

Elderly Problems by Boomeryearbook.com

Stage four of grieving is the worst. For the person who is suffering through the grieving process, stage four involves mourning for the person who is gone and sometimes sinking into a deep depression as the loss is faced up to and seen as something that cannot be fixed.

Baby boomers are demonstrably enthusiastic people; a generation famous for its ability to embrace change. Grieving, however, can present a challenge in this respect. Oftentimes, when people make a long term commitment to a partner, they believe it is for life and the possibility of death does not often enter into the equation. Nobody enters a marriage or long term relationship on the basis of it continuing up to the end of life and then stopping abruptly. Most baby boomers do not even think about the possibility of defeat and therefore contemplating death is a defeatist attitude.

For such people, death can represent a final failure to achieve. Long term lovers who have spent an entire lifetime together can sometimes fall apart when presented with the inevitability of the permanent separation brought by death.

As the knowledge of death sinks in, depression can be a feature of the grieving process and cause friends and family the most discomfort as they try to deal with a person who determinedly refuses to be jollied out of a dark mood.

The symptoms of depression are easy enough to recognize. For someone who has achieved success in giving up drinking or smoking, they might resume the habit to the annoyance of everyone around them. Many baby boomers are retired so are able all too easily to give up hobbies and pastimes and fall into a routine of lying in bed until late morning.

Some grieving baby boomers roam around the house all day in their pyjamas and bathrobe, watching TV and avoiding anyone who might want to cheer them out of their depression. The fact is they do not want to be cheered up; they do not want to start leading their life again: they want to be left alone!

So what do you do about someone in this stage of grieving? It depends on the person. Most psychologists will allow a period of ‘wallowing’ but if it continues for too long, the effects can be hard to reverse. There is no doubt that the depression is an intrinsic part of grieving and is a recognized stage of the process.

Some people in a depression will simply slouch about the house feeling gloomy for a while; others will physically harm themselves in the depths of depression. There is little doubt that this stage of the grieving process requires professional intervention if it continues for too long.

As the fourth and unhappy stage of grieving comes to an end, the light at the end of the long, dark tunnel is the fifth stage, which represents a healthy moving on and a clean up after death and the stages of the grieving process.

The Psychological Article on Depression: The Long, Dark Tunnel of Stage Tour Grief is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

Boomer Yearbook is a Social Network and Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

Kubler Ross: stages of grief

Elderly Problems by Boomeryearbook.com

As a grieving baby boomer emerges from anger in the second stage of the grieving process, an interesting change occurs that can puzzle and bewilder those who are not familiar with typical grieving behavioral patterns.

The third stage of the grieving process can be featured by bargaining. This bargaining might take the form of being particularly attentive at church or for some baby boomer widows, it might entail a concentrated effort at dieting or babysitting the grandchildren or spring cleaning the house. It is all part of a pointless bargaining process.

The bargaining is a subconscious marshalling of weapons: if I do this, he will come back; if I achieve that, she might not be taken from me and I will wake up after this terrible nightmare. As the process of bargaining continues unsuccessfully, friends and family sometimes experience an uplifting of spirits as they witness an improvement over the angry second stage of grieving and tell themselves that the person is recovering.

The third stage might see baby boomer determinations come into the process as bad habits are addressed and broken after years of struggle. Chain smokers will sometimes have far better success at giving up their habit in the third stage of grieving, only to sink into addiction again in the depressing fourth stage.

It is all part of: ‘If I do this, I will be rewarded and it will all go away’. Of course death is final and when the grieving person faces up to the harsh reality of loss, the fourth stage of grieving must be conquered, which is depression.

During the third stage, gentle support is invaluable. Telling the grieving person that there is no point in trying to bargain for a reprieve is of no value. They are intelligent and of course know that the death of their partner cannot be reversed. The act of bargaining is psychological and an inevitable part of the process. Trying to limit the time spent in this process is unhelpful and probably unproductive. Support is better and more valuable than discussion.

Sometimes during stage three, people actually resort to dating again. It is part of trying to replace the person who is gone and usually goes horribly wrong. The ‘other interested party’ can be deeply hurt when the grieving person turns away in frustration as he (or she) is seeking their lost love in a strange ritual of ‘find and replace…’

The grieving process can continue for a few weeks or sometimes might continue for years. As each stage is lived through, grief changes in shape and form and sometimes the personality of the person who is grieving also changes, leading to observations such as ‘So and so has never been the same since his wife died…’ and so on.

It is true that people can change after a loss, especially after the loss of a long term baby boomer partner of thirty or forty years. The grief process is different for everyone but unfortunately most of us must go through it at some time.

The Psychological Article on Bargaining: Going Through the Third Stage of Grief is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

Boomer Yearbook is a Social Network and Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!