Psychology Articles by Boomeryearbook.com
We often hear the old line ‘If you do this or that I will never speak to you again’. For some baby boomers, this is simply a term of phrase; for others it is a very real and upsetting reminder of someone who has literally cut themselves off from all contact with an old friend or family member, causing a lifetime of pain and grief for others.
While certain individuals have the kind of nature that prevents them from being cross with a friend or family member who has offended them for very long, others have a talent for holding a grudge for weeks, months or even years. The human capacity for forgiveness is deeper and more encompassing than most people think: many of us who are certain we can never bring ourselves to speak to so-and-so ever again do so without reservation within a remarkably short time, once our tempers have cooled.
Psychological articles from the school of Positive Psychology investigate the enigma of gratitude; forgiveness; grudge-holding and the ability to wipe the slate clean and also reflect on the bargaining process that sometimes takes place prior to protagonists finally moving on. Baby boomers with a long term gripe might sometimes approach reconciliation gingerly; with a sneaky intention to rekindle an argument before finally agreeing to bury the hatchet, forgive and forget.
Gratitude for forgiveness is sometimes compromised by the inability of the significant other person to ‘wipe the slate clean’. Forgiveness with reserve is something that is frequently a substitute for an all embracing pardon. This reserve is a somewhat spiky parole for people who have gravely offended but who, for now, enjoy a certain acceptance – the three strikes and you are out rule! Baby boomers who have had a spectacular falling out with family members might often adopt this policy when dealing with a black sheep trying to return to the family fold.
Psychological articles point out that our emotional well being benefits immensely from having the ability to forgive and forget. Baby boomers harboring unreasonable grudges rarely profit from their obstinate resolve to remain at loggerheads with good friends or family who have somehow managed to offend them. Determined offence-takers might stretch a period of grudge for twenty or thirty years and in fact never speak to the offender again. It seems a shame that a wonderful human emotion such as forgiveness should be withheld as a weapon to punish transgressors.
Sexual offences between married couples are often played out in public when adultery and other unacceptable samples of poor behavior come to the attention of a close community. Shock and horror often follow when the husband or wife forgives his or her partner’s infidelity but in fact this forgiveness is a healthy and positive solution: it is also a better alternative than further conflict, separation and divorce. Forgiveness is too often perceived as weakness when in fact it is a strengthening and positive reaction to pain and offence.
Whenever presented with a choice, the thought from psychological articles from the school of Positive Psychology informs us to choose forgiveness; find joy; and reap the rewards of positive emotions.
The Psychological Article on Wiping the Slate Clean and Feeling Gratitude for Forgiveness is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.
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