Articles from Boomeryearbook.com explore the fascinating and varied behavioral patterns that occur when families are affected by outside events, or by the impact of the modern World; the challenges faced in the new age and the hurdles that must be addressed: The Boomeryearbook.com Guide and Coaching Strategy for the baby boomer generation.
As singles, we enjoy the freedom of being without responsibility. When we marry (or not, as the case may be) and have children, we assume a mantle of obligation to our kids and our love for them is so often expressed in the material advantages we are able to provide through our hard work, such as good schooling; fashionable clothes; a good social life and later on perhaps a car and help with the deposit on an apartment.
Our children are indeed fortunate to have parents who can afford to provide the best in life. Or are they? Do such privileges carry the same value when they are gifted by affluent parents? And where does the generosity stop? And when does it stop? When we reach forty? Fifty? When we become older baby boomers suffering with our own elderly problems?
The good things in life are well publicized. The desire to possess the best begins in the school yard continues into old age and certainly baby boomers are well acquainted with the urge to own a fancy car and a nice house. Problems begin when the younger generation, brought up in luxury, cannot adjust to borderline poverty as students and a well meaning set of parents start to underwrite a number of expenses on behalf of sons and daughters who by rights should be providing for themselves.
Putting a standing order in place to help out a younger family member who is experiencing hardship can seem so little to do and in fact we all do it to help our kids when they need our financial support. The long term result of providing this life line, according to psychological articles, can be detrimental rather than beneficial, depending on the level of help being given.
The unpleasant truth is that sooner or later, whether he likes it or not, Junior will have to stand on his own feet and do without financial help from the Mom and Dad Bank. Many families have no difficulty with the transferring of financial responsibility from older members of the family and once younger people leave college they no longer ask for or receive financial help. However, some continue to depend on their parents for financial support even after they have a young family of their own and this obligation puts pressure on baby boomers to continue working well after retirement age.
So many times we hear the phrase ‘Oh, they don’t ask for the money but I like them to have it anyway’ – almost like a weird parental insurance premium that guarantees solvency for Junior and his girlfriend or wife or kids.
Psychological articles tell us that sooner or later, baby boomers have to ‘let go’ and stop being Mom and Dad Bank, not only for our own benefit but also for the sake of our kids who need to learn independence. It’s a tough pill to swallow, but we boomers need to heed this advice or we will find ourselves facing some strong elderly problems.
The Psychological Article on Letting Go: Sooner or Later, We Have to Stop Being the Breadwinner is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.
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