BoomerYearbook.com
By Dr. Karen for BoomerYearbook.com
Do you feel drained of energy after spending time with some people?
Does being in the company of some people depress you?
Do you often find yourself playing agony aunt/uncle/therapist to bitter and negative people?
If the answer to any of these questions is yes, you are probably spending time with “energy suckers”. Energy suckers are people who are extremely negative; they are angry with the world and dislike almost everyone. They are pessimists who don’t look at the bright side of anything and feel that the world is against them. If after a few hours of spending time with them, their somber and bitter attitude rubs off on you, you probably have a negative connection with them, which is not good for either of you. Everyone may not react to “energy suckers” in the same way, but if you do, it’s because you may be more impressionable, have thinner personal boundaries, or may be too empathic.
Negative relationships sap our energies and adversely affect our mental and physical health. The other person feeds on our energy but doesn’t get any better; instead our empathizing with their problems only pushes them deeper into their self-imagined agony. It may sound selfish, but it’s best to avoid such relationships. Avoiding, however, does not mean cutting off complete contact with such people. What it means is changing the nature of your relationship.
Your listening to them quietly only makes such people feel that they are justified in hating the world. If you try to reason with them and show the brighter side of life they may well get into an argument with you or convince you that the world is indeed a bad place. So how do you deal with such people? The following tips maybe helpful:
*Avoid discussing their life. When they whine and complain, change the topic.
*Don’t spend too much time talking to them. Instead go out for a movie with them, take them to a club for drinks or to anyplace which is fun but doesn’t leave you with much scope for talking.
*Be a little blunt with them. Sympathy only increases their negativity.
*Gift them a self-help book, giving them an indirect suggestion to seek help.
* Meet negative people with a group of happy, fun loving friends.
*Don’t keep putting yourself in their place. Your empathy can lower your energies and make your “energy sucker” friend/relative feel he/she is truly justified in feeling unfortunate.
*Try this reiki technique to cut the negative connection between the two of you. Think of this person, use your fore finger and middle finger like scissor blades and imitate a cutting action, tell yourself that by doing this you are cutting the chord of negativity that exists between the two of you.
These tips may sound a little selfish but the fact is that any relationship that negatively impacts you and saps your energy is a relationship that must be re-evaluated.
Want more tips on how to avoid a negative relationship? Have an experience or a question you’d like to share? Turn into Boomer Yearbook for simple and effective self help support and techniques.
Boomer Yearbook is a Social Network and Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!
