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The Misery of Co-dependency

Sunday, April 26th, 2009

Here are some questions on co-dependency would like you to ask yourself. Do you find it difficult to let go of a relationship? Are you painstakingly loyal and afraid it will hurt the others or anyone for whom you care deeply? Are your children or others you love in danger because you are complicating your relationships? Are you rejecting all solutions offered by trustworthy friends? Do you have secret feelings of shame about your behavior or feelings of “caring” for another? Do you believe you have the ability to totally change another’s behavior and habits? If you have answered yes to any of these questions then you are a co-dependent!

According to psychological articles co-dependents depend on the behavior of their loved one in order to substitute for their personal lack of a sense of self. Oftentimes they have never learned and/or have learned but become oblivious to their own values and needs while heroically trying to mend the ways of the addict (dependent). Fortunately, do provide hope as co-dependency is a common and treatable problem. If you are a co-dependent, you are not alone and there is help.., but you must be willing to commit to yourself and not escape by trying to combat your loved ones problems while ignoring your own. For instance, psychological articles tell us that there are many instances of children, spouses, friends and lovers who have tried to make someone stop drinking or give up drugs. In some of these attempts the co-dependent may have so identified with the “addicted dependent” loved one that the co-dependent may have attempted to drink or do drugs with them to prevent overly excessive use. This “policing” and “over-identification” does not work and can have disastrous consequences in that the co-dependent person, already vulnerability to dependency, can become a drug abuser themselves, simply shifting the object of dependence from the person to the person’s substance. Psychological articles inform us that co-dependents convince themselves that they can change the other person but more often, without help, they wind up losing themselves.

If you are thinking that co-dependency is an addiction to a person, Yes!, you are right. Psychological articles tell us this is exactly what is going on, and this “person” addiction compels the co-dependent to want to adjust the dependents wrongs, and fix the other person; a psychologically impossibility. As stated in other Boomer Yearbook psychological articles, co-dependence usually results from a dysfunctional childhood family of origin, such as an alcoholic or abusive environment. If these circumstances fit your upbringing it will not guarantee that you will become co-dependent, but it behooves you to check out the signs, see if you fit the profile, and if you do, get help, as psychological articles state you can be susceptible to relationship addiction or co-dependency issues.

Co-dependency fills the person with an obsession to protect the other “dependent” person from harm and to decide for him/him because the co-dependent feels they can make a better decision than the dependent loved one. However, what the co-dependent is really trying to do is gain some control of their own life by trying to control others. This control can even extend to adult children, in that co-dependent parents, (sometimes called “hovering or helicopter parents”) can still feel their children are incapable of handling independent lives as mature adults, and will intrude and give unasked for advice, judgments, and opinions.

Additionally, the co-dependent has lost their freedom of choice as they are no longer an autonomous person but are living in the shadow of your partner. Psychological articles reveal that the co-dependents life totally revolves around the needs and occurrences of the person to whom they are addicted of co-dependent upon, and are content with the submissive role as it is a defense, an escape from the lack of self-fulfillment and personal responsibility. Compulsive urges control the co-dependents behavior and oftentimes leaves the person feeling helpless, and terrified of losing or damaging the relationship.

Psychological articles bring hope stating that all these miseries brought by co-dependency can be treated and resolved. In some cases there are group supports and recovering co-dependents can provide help, and there are many therapists specifically trained to aid the recovery of co-dependent issues. Psychological articles state that the therapeutic goal is to give the co-dependent a sense of self, improve self esteem and learn to think and act like an independent adult.

The Psychological Article on Co-Dependency is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of suggestions on how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

Boomer Yearbook is Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

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Symptoms of Codependency Psychological Articles by Boomeryearbook.com

Saturday, April 25th, 2009

Psychological articles dealing with codependency issues point out that a co-dependent’s obsessive behavior towards the dependent family member or friend can be very intrusive. The co-dependent person might care so much that it becomes a psychological obsession and can make the other person feel their boundaries are being violated and even experience the perception of feeling emotionally assaulted. Such a relationship is usually seriously unhealthy to all parties involved.

First, one must be aware of co-dependence symptoms in order to combat the disorder. A co-dependent, while appearing too close to another person is actually avoiding true intimacy. While boasting of personal perfection, the reality is that the co-dependent is really distrustful, hyper-vigilant, and strives to obsessively control another’s behavior at the psychological expense of the other person; even subjecting his dependent person to debilitating physical or emotional abuse in order to maintain the status quo and perpetuate the “unhealthy” mutual dependency. Most extreme cases of co-dependence are accompanied by depression; as the relationship is mutually destructive and frustrating.

Signs of Co-dependency

The thoughts and feelings of a co-dependence lead to destructive behavior that can cause pain not only to the co-dependent but to others as well, state psychological articles on the issue. These behavioral patterns can harm otherwise healthy relationships and make people anxious, angry and unhappy. Psychological article stress that only we can change our behavior, others simply cannot!

Co-dependents act in emotionally destructive ways in spite of their possible good intentions, exhibiting the following characteristics:

* Co-dependents may consider themselves responsible for other people’s needs, thoughts, feelings, behavior, choices, well-being and destiny.
* If their subject is facing some problem the co-dependent will become anxious, feel pity and guilt.
* Co-dependents have an uncontrollable urge to help the subject of their co-dependency to resolve any problem; offering unasked for advice or giving numerous quick suggestions.
* They are likely to express anger when their help proves ineffective.
* They will anticipate other’s needs and will wonder why others don’t do the same for them.
* They will do more than what is reasonably expected or required and will even do work which other people can comfortably do for themselves.
* They will feel safe when giving to others and unsafe when others give to them.
* They will try to please others at the expense of their own pleasure.
* They will not know what they need or want and even if they do know, will convince themselves that personal needs are not as important as serving the needs of others.
* They will feel “victimized”, as they are attracted to needy people and feel sad over all they have given to another while others have not given to them.
* They will feel very bored and worthless if they do not have a problem to solve or someone needy to help.
* They will over-commit themselves, give up their routine to help someone else, and then feel resentful for doing so.

While frequently denying their dysfunctional histories, psychological articles tell us that co-dependents come from troubled families of origin and harbor much resentment. Feelings of malcontent are manifested in the co-dependents typically guarded and defensive behaviors interspersed with episodes of easily becoming angered and lashing out in righteous railings against their subject of dependence and the world in general. Although psychological articles tell us that co-dependents feel they are special and different, they nonetheless appear to adopt a “martyr-like” stance and will reject compliments. They feel unappreciated and victimized. They are afraid of rejection and making mistakes. They are very pessimistic, and they very much need therapeutic support and psychological help to break the destructive patterns.

Co-dependency can ruin lives. We at Boomer Yearbook urge you to recognize the symptoms and if you find you are suffering from this debilitating disorder, to seek help.

The Psychological Article on Co-Dependency is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of suggestions on how to recognize and alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

Boomer Yearbook is Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

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Co-Dependency Issues: Learning How to Let Go

Saturday, April 25th, 2009
Psychological Article on Co-Dependency

Psychological Article on Co-Dependency

Psychological Articles by Boomeryearbook.com

All You can Control is Yourself

According to psychological articles we should have only one main responsibility- to make decisions for our own future and find ways to make our own life easy and comfortable. Controlling others and their lives is thus NOT our responsibility and thus cannot bring any happiness. Psychological articles have repeatedly stressed the fact that we with the exception of caring for young children, we can create success, love, and happiness just for ourselves and no one else; as psychological articles inform us that whenever we try to create these states of happiness, love and success from outside we pass on our power to the external world and lose control over the power of creating our own lives. The reason behind this is simple – these states can only be created from within!

Co-Dependency: A Plague

Psychological articles have observed that people suffering from ‘co-dependency’ have typically experienced an emotionally troubled or otherwise dysfunctional childhood, leaving the person unable to detach her/himself from others, to properly attend to personal circumstances, and thus not able to obtain good resolutions of their own problems. Feeling incompetent in their own lives, the co-dependent person becomes needy of others and outer-circumstances, causing an extremely unhealthy personality characteristic for everyone involved. In order to feel competent and important the co-dependent tries to control others; first through showing compassion and advice giving, which inevitable leads to lecturing and emotional black mail. Psychological articles tell us that sometimes co-dependents are simply re-living their pain by recalling their own painful childhood, and in other circumstances they are not only re-playing old familiar patterns of behavior but they are unconsciously trying to “fix” their own dysfunctional situation by enabling others.

Total dependency

Co-dependents are unhappy people and experience intense psychological pain as they are totally dependent on somebody or something other than themselves; a situation that never brings inner peace or joy. Additionally, psychological articles tell us that they oftentimes put themselves in emotionally, financially, and even physically high risk situations as they are so busy “caring for others” that they fail to provide for their own safety. They do not treat themselves with dignity or respect as they have turned over their own power to empower others and never fully gain the ability to identify good personal choices. They fail to get consolation from within, and without as “externals” can not support “internal” emotional needs and well-being.

Look Within

Since unable to control whatever is outside of self, the co-dependent must learn to spare themselves from the pain and unhealthy dependency on others and learn to rely on inner peace and power; making personally useful decisions, and bringing honor, dignity, love and true happiness.

The best approach if you have co-dependency issues, according to psychological articles, is for you to control them by shedding your fear of feeling out of control. To do this, you must feel responsible for your own emotions and behaviors and not try to escape authenticity by associating feelings of gratification with anything or anyone outside of yourself. Only personal responsibility can bring lasting peace and happiness.

Psychological articles emphasize that if you are suffering from co-dependency issues keep the following in mind:

1. You do not have any right to control or change others but it is in your power to control and change yourself.
2. Your attempts at controlling the outside world will only result in your being controlled by it.
3. You endanger yourself by relying on other people and situations for love and safety.
4. You can easily supply love and faith in life from inside youself.

The Psychological Article on Co-Dependency is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of out of the ordinary suggestions on how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

Boomer Yearbook is Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

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“BIG DEALS FOR SMALL HEALTHY HABITS”

Wednesday, January 7th, 2009

healthy-lifestyleBy Boomeryearbook.com

Planning regular trips to the gym, eating a balanced diet, steering clear from smoking, drugs and excessive alcohol intake… these are impressive ways to get your life running on the racetracks of good health. Sadly though in this millennium, an unhealthy lifestyle is being blatantly and surreptitiously promoted. Some of unhealthy culprits are computer activities, network gaming, no-diet/exercise weight loss programs, and the over growth of nightclubs and coffee shops.

These things distract us from living healthily. They are the hurdles in the racetracks that are unavoidable; and are hurdles that need to be overcome. Luckily it isn’t difficult to spring from a hurdle as there are small healthy habits that oftentimes overlooked, nonetheless are actually big steps to better health.

Drink eight glasses of water a day. Water is a very important element for the processes of our vital organs. It regulates body temperature, serves as a lubricant, and regulates metabolism. Proper hydration results in clearer skin, a refreshed feeling, an energetic aura. BIG DEAL: Ample amounts of water in a day can actually suppress your food cravings; and in turn can help you steer clear from grabbing junk food.

Wash your hands properly. Correct hand care is the simplest solution in preventing communicable diseases. Proper hand washing involves cleaning the hands, nails, wrists, forearm and elbows. In fifteen seconds, you have the power to arm yourself against foreign microorganisms that may enter the body through dirty hands. BIG DEAL!!? YES. As several common diseases can easily be avoided. You can arm yourself against the flu, the common cold, gastrointestinal disorders, sore throats and many others simply by properly washing your hands.

Use sunscreen. The ozone layer’s got a big hole in it, and harmful UV rays of the sun are stronger than ever. A sunscreen with at least SPF 15 shields you from the ill-effects of UV-ray damage such as early signs of aging, sunburns and unhealthy tans. It is best if you can don wide-brimmed hats or use umbrellas in conjunction with your sunscreen. BIG DEAL:!!? YES. You lessen the risk of having skin cancer through this precautionary life habit.

Learn to relax. Reward yourself by relaxing! Try to give yourself a break for a job well done. Weekly time-offs are good stress-busters and can make you more optimistic in life. Know which activities relax you and treat yourself to a day off. BIG DEAL:!!? YES. This can be a very rewarding experience. This small habit is like a pat on the back for working extra hard. Result is, you become revved up and motivated for the following working days.

Eat Breakfast. Running late for work is the best excuse to miss out on breakfast. Never, ever do this. Manage your time properly so that you can eat breakfast on the table (and not while driving or walking). Make sure you get to gobble up from all the major food groups. BIG DEAL:!!? YES. Breakfast meals rev up your metabolism. Missing the most important meal of the day makes one sluggish and unfocused.

Wear comfortable shoes. You may not realize it, but your footwear plays a vital role in your life. It carries you! You walk with it, run with it, and it is important that you are comfortable with the pair you are wearing. It makes you stand while moving around your home and workplace without having to worry about ankle and foot pain or blisters. BIG DEAL:!!? YES. Wrong pairs of shoes can cause low back pain, the leading medical condition that makes most people miss work.

It is important to acknowledge these unsung habits because our smallest efforts to be healthy make us more driven to support a better lifestyle. Knowing these littlest things allows us to be aware that it is possible to be healthy in an unhealthy environment; that it is through the littlest habits that we make giant leaps to overcome the hurdles.

Want more simple and healthy tips or have some of your own you want to share? Come share them with others at Boomer Yearbook and become an advocate of healthy living!

www.boomeryearbook.com is a social networking site connecting the Baby Boomer generation. Share your thoughts, rediscover old friends, or expand your mind with brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join today to discover the many ways we are helping Boomers connect for fun and profit.

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Understanding and Coping with Stress

Wednesday, January 7th, 2009

Stress
By Boomeryearbook.com

They say life begins at forty; while this is also the peak life stress point. Home, career, relationships and even your self are all stress contributors. Some stress, especially when kept under reasonable control is positive and healthy and can help us perform gracefully under pressure. On the other hand, mishandled stress can pose several serious and even life threatening health threats.

Stress is an adrenaline-related response to the various events that we perceive as threats. The nervous system releases hormones that prepare us for fight or flight. Your muscles become tense, the heart starts pounding faster, and your breath starts to quicken. These are some of the physiologic responses to stressful agents.

Chronic stress can disrupt the important organ functions in the body. It may cause sleep disorders, widespread pain, obesity, skin problems, digestive problems and an unsound mind. It can go as far as contributing to heart diseases, lowered immune system responses, early signs of aging, and serious problems related to anxiety and depression. Stress can also exacerbate present health problems. The need for a healthy way of managing stress is imperative to prevent these dreaded diseases before they materialize.

Be aware of the ill-effects of stress. It is very important to realize that mismanaged stress is a silent assassin that can easily cripple a happy and healthy life. Once you have an understanding of the bad effects of stress, it convinces you to exert a conscious effort in controlling these stressors in your life.

Identify your stressors and know how you respond to each. As the saying goes, keep your friends close and your enemies closer; and uncontrolled stress is the enemy. Create a journal that lists the things, people and events that make you feel uncomfortable, and make another list of your responses to various stressors. The goal is to get a clear picture of which stressors you handle well, and which ones are problematic. There’s no such thing as zero stress. Write down even the littlest detail as it can also be a rewarding experience to know that there are stress agents that you can handle smoothly.

Once you have reviewed your list, you may want to concentrate on the ones that you’re having a hard time dealing with. Sort out those situations or people that bring out the monster in you, and follow these simple steps to properly managing them.

Avoid unnecessary stress, and adapt to the ones which cannot be altered. Unnecessary stressors are the ones that can be easily avoided by saying “no”. It just takes the proper heart and attitude to learn to be self protective. Say you know your job skills well, and your boss asks you to do a task you know you can’t handle. Don’t push yourself. Politely decline your employer stating that the project might turn out more successful if another skilled colleague handles it. Adapting to the stressor is a heroic and fulfilling act. Learning to accept and adjusting to the things you can’t change can add more years to your life.

Learn proper time management. It is a wise idea to keep a planner. It gives you an idea of how a busy day in your life goes, and you get to evaluate which events are important, and weed out activities which are stressfully unproductive.

Live a healthy lifestyle. Avoid cigarettes, drugs and alcohol. Engage in regular exercise and a balanced diet. Get enough rest and ample amounts of fluid.

Relax, relax, relax!!! Indulge in periods of refreshing moments with family and friends at least once a week! Doing something you enjoy adds to your sense of well-being. You will build stronger relationships and brighten your life outlook.

Want more tips in stress-reduction? Tune in daily for Boomer Yearbook’s self-help and coaching articles.

www.boomeryearbook.com is a social networking site connecting the Baby Boomer generation. Share your thoughts, rediscover old friends, or expand your mind with brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join today to discover the many ways we are helping Boomers connect for fun and profit.

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Baby Boomers Can Survive The Current Economic Times

Tuesday, December 30th, 2008

By Boomeryearbook.com

Baby Boomers are some of the people most affected by the current worldwide recession.  As a result, you find your dreams of retirement being delayed because your pension funds are far less that you’d anticipated at this time of your lives.  If you are retired, you may get nervous about the fact that your money is in institutions that have failed or are unstable.  Some of you are anxious that you face the prospect of having to return to work to make ends meet.  Some of you, also, find yourselves not being able to do the things that you used to because you simply can no longer afford it or you don’t want to spend your money on anything that’s not necessary.  There are some things you can do to keep your spirits and finances up despite the downtimes.

Mentally

Sit down with spouse, child, counselor, pastor, or close friend and discuss what’s causing you anxiety.  Ask them to help you come up with a plan of action to combat the problem.  If the problem is beyond your control; acknowledge that and ask for help to get past it.  Make sure you share the fact that you’re experiencing pangs of anxiety with someone you trust.  Try not to watch too much television news as the news you hear may make you feel even more anxious.  Do not keep it to yourself, it will bring you down and you might end up being depressed.

Financially

If you’ve lost money on your pension fund and you’re retired or within ten years of retirement, count your losses and take the rest of your money out of the stock market.  Put it in something more stable like a Certificate of Deposit or even a savings account.  If you think you might have to work a couple years longer than you’d planned, accept it.  Recognize that it’s something beyond your direct control and ask your family members and friends for support.   Keep a keen eye out for investment opportunities that are guaranteed that may yield a higher return that what you have now.  You could put more of your saving into a Certificate of Deposit or extend the term as this usually gives you a higher rate of interest.

Socially

So, you can’t go to dinner once a week anymore; then go once a month.  If you can no longer afford to go to bingo at the club, have bingo night at your house and have your friends bring something to eat.  You could also rotate homes and each bingo night is held at a different friend’s home.  If golf’s your game and you think the club fees are a bit over-the-top, try miniature golf or go as a guest a few times a year.  It might also be a good time to get a new hobby…something that does not require a lot of money such as hiking, cycling, volunteering etc.  It is a great opportunity to learn something new.

Please be aware that BoomerYearbook.com does not have the expertise to give professional advice on the topics.  The above are simply possible suggestions and should be done with the help of a true professional in the respective fields should that be necessary.  We welcome your own suggestions on how Boomers can survive the economic downturn.  We look forward to hearing from you and hearing your responses to our weekly tips. Sign on for next week’s update on baby boomers and municipal bonds.

www.boomeryearbook.com is a social networking site connecting the Baby Boomer generation. Share your thoughts, rediscover old friends, or expand your mind with brain games provided by clinical psychologist, Dr. Karen Turner. Join today to discover the many ways we are helping Boomers connect for fun and profit.

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Let’s Go To The Farm – Fat Farm That Is!

Wednesday, December 24th, 2008
Let’s Go To The Farm - Fat Farm That Is!

Let’s Go To The Farm - Fat Farm That Is!

by BoomerYearbook.com

The term Fat Farm seems a crude way of describing an establishment involved in weight loss. Ironically enough the title came from those that have weight problems themselves. As far back as 50 years ago, places like fat camps, fat farms and boot camps for weight loss were extremely popular. Mainly because they were a great place to go and lose weight quickly. No one who attended the majority of these places promoted them as being vacation resorts as the food intakes bordered on starvation. The norm caloric intake was restricted to between 400-900 per day. In addition, there were extensive exercise programs and a selection of nutritional supplements added to the regimen. In some places, alternative measures such as colonics were also used to promote weight loss.

For those who had the stamina to stay the course and finish the program at the fat farm, they did in fact lose weight. Many left with the look and feel of real accomplishment. Only there was a major problem. They may have lost weight, but they couldn’t keep it off. Once integrated back into realistic day-to-day living, the fat farm regime just couldn’t work, and back came the unwanted pounds.

Eventually the fat farm was no longer popular. People just couldn’t get over the hurdle of putting the weight back on. So other weight loss methods were sought such as long term “low cal” diets and nutritional drinks and supplements. The acceptable weight loss calorie range by the 1970’s was about 1200 per day. However, these methods also failed because the emphasis was put on dietary restrictions and participants just found them too difficult for long term adherence.

The quest for successful weight loss continued into the 1980’s, where the fat farm was a thing of the past. In this era, higher calorie intake was married with healthier lifestyles with the goal to provide more long term weight management. The trend had now become to teach people how to eat rather than what to eat. The strategy was to teach behavior patterns in choosing the right foods, coupled with proper exercise.

Weight loss spas began to spring up and added the new modern concepts of behavior therapy.

The word “Fat Farm” is once again becoming a familiar word. In fact, there is a Chinese Fat Farm that is becoming popular. The modern name for it is the Chinese weight loss center. It is a private hospital centered on weight issues. One of the major purposes of this clinic is to treat the once thin Chinese population that is fast becoming part of the US style obesity problem.

Want more tips on weight loss farms and spas? Have a comment or question you’d like to share? Come join others at Boomer Yearbook.


www.boomeryearbook.com is a social networking site connecting the Baby Boomer generation. Share your thoughts, rediscover old friends, or expand your mind with brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join today to discover the many ways we are helping Boomers connect for fun and profit.

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Self-hypnosis for boomers to cure skin problems

Sunday, December 14th, 2008
Self-hypnosis for boomers to cure skin problems

Self-hypnosis for boomers to cure skin problems

by Dr. Karen for BoomerYearbook.com

Our skin reflects our state of mind.  You must have noticed how your face turns red when you are really angry or how people comment on your dull looking skin when you are upset or compliment you for your glowing skin when you are happy! While these effects may be temporary, deep rooted feelings, either negative or positive, can have long term effects on our skin.  However, this does not mean that all skin problems are a result of negative emotions; some might have medical causes as well. But if your skin is not responding to medications, then there is a possibility that either your negativity is hampering your recovery or your problem is the result of your deep rooted negative emotions. Self-rejection, self-loathing, stress, anxiety, negative self-talk and low self-esteem are feelings which typically cause skin problems.

How to overcome your skin problems?

Just like a long held habit becomes a part of our unconscious behavior, similarly long held thinking patterns also become a part of our behavior. We don’t even realize when we slip into a negative thinking or self-loathing mode. Our habit of worrying ourselves to death about the smallest problems or getting stressed over trivial issues comes naturally to us.  Our subconscious directs our “natural” instincts. Therefore to alter what has become our “natural” behavior”, we need to influence our subconscious. Self- hypnosis is one way through which we can communicate with our subconscious.

The following self-hypnosis exercises can help in altering long held-behavior and thinking patterns:

 Exercise 1-Simple self hypnosis exercise to release stress:

·       Step 1-Lie down on your bed/a mat or the floor

·       Step 2-Deep breathe

·       Step 3-Focus on your breath and imagine that you breathing in light and energy with every in-                breath and breathing out all your stress and anxiety with every out-breath

·       Step 4-Now imagine a beam of white light entering your body through the top of your head

·       Step 5-Let the white light travel to every part of your body, dissolving all your stress and anxiety

·       Step 6-Now imagine that the light is leaving your body from the soles of your feet

·       Step 7-You will find yourself feeling lighter

·       Step 8-Relax

·       Step 9- Slowly open your eyes

 

Self Hypnosis exercise for self acceptance:

Repeat Exercise 1 till step 8

Step9-Visualize yourself the way you look right now

Step 10-Tell this image of yourself “I love and accept you the way you are”

Step 11-Now embrace this image

Step 12-Relax

Step 13-Slowly, open your eyes

Self hypnosis exercise for adopting a positive attitude and building confidence and releasing negative emotions causing skin problems

Repeat exercise 1 till step 8

Step 9-Visualize your skin clearing

Step 10-See your blemishes/pimples/hive/eczema disappearing

Step 11-See your skin glowing

Step 12-Stay with this image for as long as you want 

Step 13-Relax

Step 14- Slowly, open your eyes

Self hypnosis communicates with your mind in the language it understands, the language of visuals. These exercises influence your subconscious mind and re-program it to adopt positive thinking patterns.            

Want to stay physically and mentally healthy? Sign onto boomeryearbook.com for simple and effective self-help and coaching techniques. Join others at BoomerYearbook.com and let your voice be heard. Boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

www.boomeryearbook.com is a social networking site connecting the Baby Boomer generation. Share your thoughts, rediscover old friends, or expand your mind with brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join today to discover the many ways we are helping Boomers connect for fun and profit.

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Positive thinking to keep a boomer’s heart healthy

Sunday, December 14th, 2008
Positive thinking to keep a boomer’s heart healthy

Positive thinking to keep a boomer’s heart healthy

by Dr. Karen for BoomerYearbook.com

Heart attack is one of most dangerous serial killers in the world and women are more prone to becoming its victims.  We all know that this killer prefers attacking those with an unhealthy and sedentary lifestyle. But did you know that negative thinking also makes you more vulnerable to heart attacks? Yes, your habit of constantly worrying, expecting the worst, fretting over every small thing can actually invite heart diseases into your life!

How does negative thinking affect your heart’s health?

Researchers at the University of Kentucky found that patients who had negative thinking patterns, such as thoughts about not being able to justify their own existence, were at higher risk for developing depression. Heart patients with depression were shown to have more complications, including a higher risk of death!

Your negative thoughts increase your stress levels and prevent you from focusing on attaining good health.  When you are more focused on how unfit you are or how unfulfilling your life is, you are unlikely to take steps to improve your health. A negative thought pattern promotes a pessimistic and fatalist attitude.

Spiritually, negative thoughts are believed to affect the heart directly. Symbolically your heart stands for your ability to love.  Therefore, holding yourself back from freely receiving and giving love can also cause heart problems.

Therefore in order to keep your heart healthy you must try to think positive. Positive thinking does not just mean expecting the best from life. It also means looking for good in everyone and giving up on your cynicism. Positive thinking includes positive self talk, i.e. believing in yourself and appreciating yourself for who you are. It stands for adopting a new approach to life, an approach which helps you find mental peace and satisfaction.

How to think Positive?

Thinking positive is probably easier said than done. Often when we try to think positive our mind plays spoil sport.  It seems to control us and sneaks in negative thoughts and worries at every opportunity. If only we could learn to control our thoughts, we would be able to control our minds, instead of it working the other way round! It’s not that difficult a task, if we adopt the right approach. The following tips may help.

Make conscious efforts to avoid negative thinking:  We get so used to our negative thinking pattern that sometimes we don’t even realize when we slip into it. However, whenever you do realize that have fallen into the trap of negative thinking, consciously divert your mind to something positive, unrelated to your present negative thought. For instance if you catch yourself worrying about losing your job, stop yourself and divert your attention to an enjoyable game or recently watched movie. Because of your habitual thinking patterns, it may be difficult for you to suddenly start expecting the best out of every situation; in such  cases it’s better to first learn to stop yourself from negative thinking by consciously distracting your mind.

Positive Affirmations: Telling yourself that you expect the best from life and looking for the silver lining in every situation will help bring about a shift in your perception. The logic is simple, if you are told throughout your life that you are a bad dancer, no matter how much potential you have you’ll eventually start viewing yourself as someone with two left feet, without even trying to learn how to dance! Similarly if you tell yourself repeatedly that you have full faith in yourself and expect the best from every situation, it will become your truth.

The following affirmations can help you adopt an approach of positive thinking towards life:

“I love and appreciate myself” (This affirmation helps you get rid of the pattern of negative self-talk)

“It’s safe for me to express my feelings” (This helps you overcome the negative thinking pattern which makes you fear other people’s reactions to your feelings)

“I deserve to love and be loved” (This frees you from the negative thoughts like “I don’t deserve to be loved” or “I am not good enough”)   

“I trust life to bring the best to me” (This frees you from your habit of expecting the worst from life)

“I now attract kind and loving people into my life” (This will help you look for good in everyone and overcome your cynical attitude)

Keep yourself busy- You may have observed that you tend to think more when you have nothing to do, however if you keep yourself busy, you won’t have time to dwell on negatives.  Nurturing a hobby, learning something new, exercising, reading and listening to music etc are all enjoyable ways of keeping yourself busy. Doing things that you enjoy, will also keep you in a happier frame of mind- and when happy you are more likely to feel optimistic and think positively.

Want to stay physically and mentally healthy? Sign onto boomeryearbook.com for daily self-help and coaching techniques. Join others at BoomerYearbook.com and let your voice be heard. Boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

www.boomeryearbook.com is a social networking site connecting the Baby Boomer generation. Share your thoughts, rediscover old friends, or expand your mind with brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join today to discover the many ways we are helping Boomers connect for fun and profit.

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Positive affirmations to help boomers lose weight

Sunday, December 14th, 2008
Positive affirmations to help boomers lose weight

Positive affirmations to help boomers lose weight

by Dr. Karen for BoomerYearbook.com

“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to lose weight!”

“How I wish I could look like her/him!”

“Why do I have such an ugly body?”

“I have no willpower…I can’t control myself around food”

Does this sound like you? If yes, then you probably came here looking for a way to lose weight.  You may have already tried a lot of weight loss programs and fad diets but with limited or no success. Perhaps what’s stopping you from attaining a fit and healthy body is your own mind! As long as you continue with your negative self-talk, your struggle to lose weight will remain just that…a never ending struggle.

You are probably unable to control your food cravings because you tell yourself that you can’t. You have not lost as much weight as you would have liked to because you believe you can’t. A lot of people binge to distract themselves from depression or negative feelings about themselves and their bodies. If you feel dissatisfied with your body, it’s because you refuse to accept yourself the way you are, in all probability you constantly compare yourself with other people and magnify your own flaws. These insecurities may push you to over-eat.

Once you start believing that you can lose weight, you’ll be able to stick to your weight loss program. Your negative thinking won’t de-motivate you before you reach the stage of getting results! When you accept yourself the way you are, you will be able to get rid of your anxiety and feelings of insecurity or inferiority.

Positive affirmations can help strengthen your belief in yourself.  They work by the simple logic that truth is just a perception of the mind. Your perception depends on your conditioning and beliefs. Whatever we hear repeatedly becomes our belief.  For instance you believe in god because you’ve always been told that he/she exists! Let’s take a simpler example to understand this, think of a child who is always been told that he is “ugly”, then no matter how flattering his physical features may be he’ll start viewing himself as “ugly”. By the same logic if you keep affirming something positive to yourself day in and day out, you will eventually start believing it. While your negative self-talk can kill your confidence, your positive self-talk has just the opposite effect!

You can either make up your own affirmations or practice the following in front of a mirror:

“I love and accept myself the way I am” (This affirmation will help you build self-confidence and get over feelings of insecurity, which push towards over-eating).

“I believe I have the power within me to adopt a healthy lifestyle” (This is the reverse of the de-motivating negative affirmation- “I can’t control myself around food”. When you believe you have the power to adopt a healthy lifestyle your actions will start reflecting your belief).

“I am at peace with my feelings and feel safe and secure” (This affirmation helps you get over your feelings of insecurity and/ or inferiority)

“All is well in my world” (This helps you feel happy with your situation)

You can focus on one affirmation per week and practice your chosen affirmation at least 30-40 times in front of the mirror (per day). Apart from that repeat the affirmation whenever you get time, while doing household chores, driving, watering the plants; basically, whenever you can.

Want to stay physically and mentally healthy? Sign onto boomeryearbook.com for daily self-help and coaching techniques. Join others at BoomerYearbook.com and let your voice be heard. Boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

www.boomeryearbook.com is a social networking site connecting the Baby Boomer generation. Share your thoughts, rediscover old friends, or expand your mind with brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join today to discover the many ways we are helping Boomers connect for fun and profit.

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