Boomer Yearbook Blog » Psychological Articles

The Beautiful World of Zentangles

German Roig — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 19:03:36 +0000

Zentangle: BoomerYearbook.com

The art of Zentangle was developed by Maria Thomas and Rick Roberts. At a glance, Zentangle images appear to be a complicated interwoven mass of lines and curves. On closer inspection it becomes clear that Zentangles are carefully drawn doodles; images of passing fancy that are created from simple beginnings.

Zentangles are ‘built’ line upon line, with embellishments added at will by the artist. The images are compelling, probably because most people can look upon the sections of a Zentangle and think, ‘Well I could do that’. And they do!

One of the many attractions of Zentangles is that they are accessible for anyone who can put pen to paper: children;baby boomers; tired executives… There is no necessity for artistic talent, although a creative side is invariably exposed with practice. They can be as simple or as intricate as you wish and for some they have replaced crosswords and Sudoku as a commuter’s companion! They are calming, pleasing stress removers that are slightly addictive so be warned!

Zentangling artists tend to range in age from around four to ninety four – the beauty of the Zentangle is that it requires no expensive equipment, simply pen or pencil or both and some good quality paper. Beginners are usually delighted with even a first attempt, which is likely why a second and third effort follow quickly after!

Baby boomers find that Zentangles can be used to decorate and embellish and can be incorporated in other work such as scrap booking, journals, invitation designs and they have even been drawn onto trainers to personalize someone’s daily workouts!
One of the more interesting benefits of Zentangle for baby boomers is the effect of reducing stress. The process of absorbing the mind brings tranquility. Time runs away as the artist slips further into his or her creation, producing lines, blocks and circles that are fascinating, interwoven pockets, drawing the eye and calming the soul. Its therapeutic effects have been known to help deal with addiction; anger; stress; recuperation from illness and work related distress and even a first experience of putting pen to paper to create a Zentangle teaches why this is so. In simple terms it is an exercise in hand eye co-ordination that requires very little natural artistic talent. The result, however, is artistic in the extreme and it is possible for five year olds to turn out a piece of work that is every bit as impressive as something a professional artist might produce. How neat is that…! The process of producing a Zentangle utilizes just about every area of the brain and requires the creator to be totally absorbed, making it a valuable tool to combat stress.

The finished work boosts confidence and fills the artist with enthusiasm to try again. There are certain skills which may be learned, such as pattern techniques and shading but on the whole, a raw novice can enjoy Zentangling from the outset and build an impressive gallery within a week or so. Zentangles may also provide a satisfying pastime for someone who is armchair bound or even bed bound. Baby boomers who are recovering from illness could find Zentangling deeply therapeutic.The Psychological Article on The Beautiful World of Zentangles is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

Boomer Yearbook is a Social Network and Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

Zentangle Wacky Picture Cleaned: BoomerYearbook.com

Zentangles traditionally are created on small squares of paper (making them pocket friendly) although some, like the one in our illustration, expand to become more ambitious and larger pieces. The patterns are inspired by nature; architecture and people and there are no limitations to what a Zentangle might depict. Some are themed; some are not; a totally free media of expression and a way for the mind to celebrate its artistic side as well as exercise its ability to problem solve; direct ideas and freely portray unconstrained thoughts on paper.

Beverly Godfrey is a passionate Zentangle artist with a fine collection of Zentangle projects in her portfolio. A beginner’s guide is available on her Squidoo lens at http://www.squidoo.com/how-to-zentangle

See Maria Thomas’ Zentangles at http://www.zentangle.com/index.php

Baby Boomer Mistresses and How They Keep Their Men

Tue, 24 Nov 2009 19:14:20 +0000

: How Mistresses Keep Their Man: BoomerYearbook.com

Dr. Karen for BoomerYearbook.com

This series of articles from Boomer Yearbook explores the fascinating and varied sexual behavioral patterns that occur as a result of the impact of the modern World; the challenges faced by men and women of the new age and the hurdles that must be addressed: Boomer Yearbook’s Guide and Coaching Strategy for the baby boomer generation.

The word ‘mistress’ conjures images of half naked women permanently dressed in see through underwear and sporting expensive jewelry, a cosmetically enhanced cleavage and a wicked smile. In fact, excluding the odd exception to the rule, baby boomers who are mistresses are invariably ordinary women who fell in love with a man they could not have.

Despite baby boomers’ reputation for sexual liberty, many of them find monogamy very comforting and spend their lives with one person or perhaps two at a stretch. There are a few, however, that become drawn to the dreaded love triangle like a moth to a flame and these sexual intrigues can cause considerable heartbreak and emotional turmoil for everyone involved. Psychological articles tell us that heartbreak can be more difficult to cope with in later life and in serious cases can lead to depression.

Baby boomer mistresses who have been attached to one man for a very long time experience all kinds of emotional insecurity as they get older, for obvious reasons. As they age and lose their looks they believe – in some instances with good reason – that their man will feel less affection for them, no longer find them sexually alluring and eventually seek someone younger.

The reality of affairs is that they are often conducted in an atmosphere of home comfort rather than sleazy bars and private clubs. Baby boomers in the same affair for a long time have much the same home routine as conventionally married partners but without any legal obligation to carry on their association once attraction wears off. This leaves the mistress who is dependent on her man for support in the unenviable position of having no financial security and no emotional security either. This could be the reason for the relationship enjoying its longevity in the first place.

Men have had a generic love of being made comfortable by women since the beginning of time. When things go wrong at home and their relationships with their wives become strained through the daily pressure of family life, they sometimes seek the ingredients missing from their marriage elsewhere. If they are lucky enough to find it, a love affair can continue for many years as the man enjoys all the attention he does not get at home.

Psychological articles do not see extra marital affairs as particularly beneficial in terms of emotional health, for either party. A happier solution all round is to try to repair the cracks in one’s marriage rather than raid the emotions of a part time lover.

The Psychological Article on Baby Boomer Mistresses and How They Keep Their Men is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

Boomer Yearbook is a Social Network and Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

Are you forgetful?

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 23:59:21 +0000

By BoomerYearbook.com

Sally, a housewife in her late 50’s was astounded when she heard from her husband, Alfie, a foreman of one of South Africa’s gold mines that he wanted to retire. Alfie was only 56 years old, and is such a clever and hardworking guy. Later, Sally found out from her husband’s fellow workers that Alfie had started to make strange errors in judgment. They often covered him up.

After Alfie retired, the couple bought a hotel. Since Alfie was handy, they thought he would keep busy fixing the place, but instead, he always called in a handyman. That same year, the couple took their three-year old granddaughter for a holiday at the beach. She loved to play on the trampoline just across the road from their apartment they stayed in. One afternoon, Alfie took her to jump on the trampoline and said they would be back in half an hour. By 7pm, they had not returned, Sally got worried and she phoned the police but they were not able to locate Alfie and the little girl. At noon the next day, there was a knock on the door. When Sally opened it, there stood Alfie with their granddaughter in his arm. They were lost from across the road and Sally’s friend found them and directed them to the right apartment.

After this incident, Sally took Alfie to a neurologist, who certified that he was suffering from dementia (loss of intellectual function). As it turned out, Alfie had Alzheimer’s disease, for which there is as yet no effective treatment or cure.

What is Alzheimer’s disease (AD)?

Although research into a number of possible causes is being done, the actual cause of AD remains unknown. However, it is known that AD involves the gradual destruction of brain cells, so that parts of the brain may literally shrink. The parts worst affected are those involved in memory and thinking ability. Cells in the brain system involved in the emotions are affected early in the disease, resulting in personality changes.

Typically, the disease lasts from 5 to 10 years – but sometimes more than 20 years. As it progresses, victims are able to do less and less. Eventually, they may even fail to recognize their loved ones. In the final stage, sufferers often become bedridden and cannot speak or feed themselves. However, many victims die from other causes before reaching these final stages.

What are the symptoms of having Alzheimer’s disease?

Memory lost is the first symptom of AD. Having some short-term memory lost when a person is in his 60’s and 70’s is common, and some people with mild memory problems will go on to develop Alzheimer’s disease. Some of these signs include forgetting recently learned information like names and phone numbers; difficulty performing familiar tasks, such as cooking a meal; disorientation as to time and place, like where you live on your street; and poor or decreased judgment.

Is there a cure for Alzheimer’s disease?

While there is not yet a cure for AD, there is much that can be done to maintain quality of life, and help the person stay active. Medicines called cholinesterase inhibitors may be started as soon as Alzheimer’s disease is diagnosed. Cholinesterase inhibitors may slow the progression of symptoms; they do not prevent the disease from getting worse. Another medicine called memantine (Namenda) may be used alone or with cholinesterase inhibitors to treat moderate to severe symptoms of confusion and memory loss caused by Alzheimer’s disease.

AD is named after Alois Alzheimer, a German physician who first described the disease in 1906 after doing an autopsy on a patient who had suffered from severe dementia. AD is thought to account for more than 60 percent of dementia cases, affecting up to 1 in 10 people over 65 years of age.

Have you been forgetful these past few months? You can share your experience with others at Boomer Yearbook.

Boomeryearbook.com is a social networking site connecting the Baby Boomer generation. Share your thoughts, rediscover old friends, or expand your mind with brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join today to discover the many ways we are helping Boomers connect for fun and profit.

Dressing Up For Divorce Court

Administrator — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 19:32:59 +0000

By BoomerYearbook.com

The courtroom is a place of order and respect, whether you do not entirely in agreement with your ex-husband or your husband’s Lauer the lawyer of your ex-spouse, your appearance in court obligates you to present yourself in a respectable and pleasant matter. Regardless of whether you are on the verge of an emotional breakdown, you must uphold yourself in a manner respecting of the court judge and his court.

Your taste in clothing can still influence your appropriate choice in clothing on your court appearance; however, you must be informed to dress on the conservative side of your ensemble. Knee-high skirts are a usual choice over a blouse or suit. It must, however, not in any shade of any “loud” color, try to keep them in neutral shades of navy blue, grey or brown. Bright shades of pink, red and purple are definitely a no-no.

Stilettos are expectedly not to be chosen to be worn (if you could still sport them) a shoe with a three-inch heel would be appropriate. No open-toe shoe or sandal should be worn in court.

As to jewelry and make-up, the keyword is minimal. Wearing a ring on each finger with a necklace and big looped earrings is definitely a deal breaker especially if you’re asking for alimony or child support. Choice on the makeup to be worn and color will definitely have to be toned down. No blue eye shadow should be worn. If you’re thinking about dressing up sexy to get favours from the judge, whether the judge is a fellow member of the baby boomer generation or not, the idea should be completely stricken off a person’s mind.
Hats should not be worn in court; instead, wearing your hair up or in a braid is recommendable.

You don’t need to be flashy or ornate with what you wear in court, try to find that look where you don’t feel ugly but otherwise not looking hootchy either.

For the baby boomers coming to close a relationship at this point should be unbearable. It is important that you present your case and you get the issues well pointed out, dressing may get you to a point where you will be favored by the court. It is not important at this point how your ex-husband see you at this time, you’re concern is being heard and understood.

Wish to share your thoughts and experiences about divorce? Meet and share with others at Boomer Yearbook.

Yoga for Better Baby Boomer Sex

Administrator — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 01:02:05 +0000

By Boomeryearbook.com

So you want to have sex, but as a baby boomer, you feel too old to do it? Your body’s fitness doesn’t match up to your mind’s amorous intentions? Or for female boomers, is menopause making sex less enjoyable? And for male boomers, are prostrate issues getting in the way? Well, you needn’t fret too much because yoga is here to help!

Yoga poses for boomers to enjoy better sex

Yoga helps in keeping you fit, makes your body more flexible, lets your mind relax and makes you more aware of the sensations in your body. Often boomer sex falls victim to stress, age, lack of physical fitness and the consequential lack of confidence in one’s body. The following yoga poses can help boomers combat these passion killers:

Upavista Konasana or the Wide Straddle Forward Bend

Step1- Sit on the floor and spread your legs

Step2- Flex your ankles so that your toes are pointing upwards

Step 3-Bend forward but go only as far as is comfortable

Step 4- Deep breathe and stay in this position for 10-15 seconds

Step 6- Return to the first position. Relax. Repeat the exercise 4-5 times

Benefits to Boomers- Increases blood flow in your pelvis, which means more sensation in the area. Increase in sensation means more sexual pleasure

Baddha Konasana or the Cobbler’s Pose

Step1: Sit with your knees bent in such a way that the soles of your feet touch the floor

Step 2- Hold your toes, round your back and lean over your knees

Step 3- Deep breathe and stay in this position for 10-15 seconds

Step 4- Return to the first position.

Step 5- Relax and repeat the exercise 4-5 times

Benefits to Boomers: Alleviates symptoms related to menopause like uterine disorders, irritability, fatigue and anxiety.

The Mool Bandha or The Root Lock Pose

Step 1- Sit on the floor with your back straight

Step 2- Tighten your pelvic area and take a deep breath in

Step 3- Hold and count till 5

Step 4- Release and relax

Step 5- Repeat 5-6 times

Benefit- Strengthens your pelvic floor, thus giving stronger contractions and releases, which can help you experience a more intense orgasm.

These are just a few examples; yoga offers a lot more asanas and poses which can transform any boomer’s sex life from frigid cold to steamy hot! So don’t let age, fitness or stress bully you anymore, get yoga to deal with them.

Want more tips to improve your sex-life? Sign onto boomeryearbook.com for daily self-help and coaching techniques. Join others at BoomerYearbook.com and let your voice be heard. Boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

www.boomeryearbook.com is a social networking site connecting the Baby Boomer generation. Share your thoughts, rediscover old friends, or expand your mind with brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join today to discover the many ways we are helping Boomers connect for fun and profit.

5. The Andropause: How it Affects Baby Boomers

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 13:11:43 +0000

By Dr. Karen for Boomeryearbook.com

Baby boomers’ main problem when it comes to dealing with the andropause is that they are prime targets for this mid life condition due to their age. The andopause is more commonly referred to as the ‘male menopause’ and some of the symptoms are indeed miserable and cause a great many men considerable distress.

Psychological articles acknowledge that many men go through the andropause feeling their mood swings, lack of sexual libido and general ‘touchiness’ are due to ‘getting old’ and rarely seek help. Women going through the menopause are far more likely to seek medical help for their symptoms, in much the same way as women are more likely to buy a pill for a headache.

Interestingly, although menopause is commonly held to be responsible for many women’s poor behavior and general silliness, men going through the same process of mid life hormonal imbalance are rarely excused their moodiness, possible because their condition is not recognized by the men themselves. All men experience a reduction in bioavailable testosterone but some men’s levels dip lower, resulting in andropause symptoms.

The symptoms of andropause include a reduction in body and facial hair; low libido; insomnia; depression, fatigue; a tendency to anger; possibly osteoporisis; night sweats; aches and pains hot flushes and general low health. Some baby boomers eventually visit their doctor complaining of being ‘over the hill’.

The treatment for andropause is traditionally with TRT – Testosterone Replacement Therapy – the male version of a woman being treated with HRT, if you like. In fact, a man who combines TRT with a lifestyle change that includes increased exercise and a healthy diet can enjoy a dramatic reduction in andropausal symptoms. TRT overhauls the body, increasing lean muscle mass, reversing fat accumulation and replenishing hormone growth, leading to an improved sex life.

Baby boomers suffering with andropausal symptoms are more likely to suffer than their female partners who will race off to the doctor at the first hot flush. Psychological articles observe that baby boomers who seek early TRT treatment for andropause are more likely to conquer the depression that accompanies the condition.

Most physicians will recommend a healthy regime of exercise for a man suffering with andropausal symptoms, as exercise helps to strengthen the presence of healthy hormones, reduce fat and improve muscle tone.

The secret is to consult a doctor for positive help at earliest opportunity. Men who procrastinate over visiting their doctor and continue to struggle with the symptoms of ‘male menopause’ suffer needlessly sometimes for years before finally seeking professional help.

The Andropause: How it Affects Baby Boomersis part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

Lack of Trust: How to Trust Again

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 18:44:20 +0000

by BoomerYearbook.com

Lack of trust can kill any relationship. If a partner has cheated in the past or has a habit of lying then the inability to trust them is understandable. In fact in such cases the entire relationship may have to be re-evaluated. However, if one of the partners constantly doubts the other’s fidelity without having any justified reason to do so, then lack of trust is not just unfair to the other person but can also have disastrous consequences for the relationship.

If you find yourself constantly questioning your partner’s affections and motives, have a habit of cross checking their claims and statements with a third person, spy on them for no reason and have frequent arguments over your mistrusting nature, then you may be suffering from a chronic lack of trust. You are probably aware that your lack of trust has nothing to do with your partner; it’s like a bad habit, which has become a part of your personality. But the problem is that your habit probably hurts your partner more than you realize and before you know your relationship will start falling apart right in front of your eyes.

Causes of lack of trust

Your habit of mistrusting people who profess to love you could have its roots in your past. The following are some of the most common causes of this problem:

Emotional hurt—If in any of your previous relationships your partner cheated on you and you felt deeply hurt by the betrayal, it is possible that you moved on to the next relationship, without resolving your feelings. In such a case you might constantly compare your present partner with your ex and use your “lack of trust” as a defense mechanism against heartbreak.

History of betrayal- If you have been too naive and trusting in the past, it’s possible a lot of people may have taken you for a ride. This may have forced you to move to the other extreme of mistrusting anyone who tries to come close to you.

Childhood trauma- The experiences we go through as children play a huge role in shaping our personalities. If as a child you witnessed a parent’s infidelity or a bitter divorce, chances are that you will grow up into a person with a deep mistrust for people who profess to love you.

Conditioning- If a child is brought up by a single parent who was at receiving end of betrayal by his her partner; it’s possible that the parent might have unconsciously passed on generalized negative beliefs about the opposite sex to the child.

Low self esteem- A person suffering from low self-esteem might feel that they do not deserve the attention, care, and concern of anyone. They therefore have problems trusting the positive, healthy, and loving behavior of people around them and their negative self-talk forces them to look for an ulterior motive behind the most sincere actions.

How to start trusting again

If you can identify with any of these problems and want to learn to trust people again, without the constant fear of being taken advantage of, you need to let go of the past and make a fresh start. Practicing positive affirmations is one of the simplest ways to unlearn the old and learn a new way of living.

Positive Affirmations:

Your beliefs are a result of your repeated past experiences which cause conditioned patterns and perceptions. Positive affirmations involve persistently exposing yourself to new ideas, till your mind absorbs them as new internalized belief systems. The following affirmations will help you unlearn old patterns and accept new ideas about life and yourself.

Stand in front of a mirror and repeat each affirmation at least 30-40 times daily. A better idea would be to focus on one affirmation for a week and then move to the next one.

“I love and accept myself the way I am”

“I deserve to love and to be loved”

“It’s safe for me to love people and allow them to love me”

“I feel safe and trust the process of life to bring me the best, because that’s what I deserve”

“I let go of the past and welcome the future with open arms”

Practice these affirmations till they become a part of your new belief system.

When you refuse to trust people you stop life from bringing forth the possibilities of love and happiness that could be in store for you. When you live in fear of being let down, you miss the opportunity to love and feel loved. Give life a chance, after all it’s better to find love and lose it than live without knowing how beautiful love is.

Want more tips on overcoming mistrust and learning how to open yourself to the possibilities of love and happiness? Have a comment or question you’d like to share? Come join others at Boomer Yearbook for simple and effective coaching tips and strategies.

The Cuckoo in the Nest: Welcoming a Step Grandchild to Your Family

Thu, 15 Oct 2009 15:12:23 +0000

Boomer Yearbook's Coaching Guide to Blended Family Relations

Psychological Articles and Coaching Tips for Baby Boomers to Avoid and Alleviate Elderly Problems

by Boomeryearbook.com

These series of Boomer Yearbook’s psychological articles explore the weird and wonderful structures that can happen within families of second and third marriages along with the psychological dangers and coaching solutions to giving preference or spoiling some children who have enjoyed longer/closer familial associations (i.e., daughter’s children closer to the grandparents than the son’s, etc), and the difficulties and joys of ‘newbie” blended relationships….Boomer Yearbook’s Guide to Yours, Mine, and Ours coaching strategy for the baby boomer generation.

Psychological articles from the school of Positive and Object Relational Positive Psychology tell us that the painful introduction of a child into your family who is not formally adopted or ‘of your blood’ can wreck havoc and heartbreak for everyone concerned if the situation is not dealt with in a sensitive and diplomatic manner. For many baby boomers who are in a position where their son has divorced and remarried, the arrival of the new wife’s child into the family from her previous marriage sometimes causes a great deal of resentment and can lead to elderly problems.

Baby boomer’s daughters whose marriages break up have a different set of problems to address: their difficulties do not usually include the necessary marginalizing of the maternal grandparents. For sons it is quite different, as children traditionally reside with their mother; hence the husband’s parents sometimes suffer deep loss when grandchildren move away and contact, however frequent it may have been in the past, is limited or even denied completely.

On the heels of the heartache of losing much loved grandchildren comes the interloper; the child of the son’s new wife; the cuckoo in the nest. Here is when problems begin to surface and understandably: a child who may already be quite mature is suddenly sharing your son’s life, whereas his own children are somewhere far from home. Not only is the child brought into your home – your son is pressuring you to welcome this ‘faux grandchild’ and pretend they are no different to his blood/adopted children. Most grandparents’ reaction is the same: ‘OVER MY DEAD BODY!’

Wait a minute! Step back and think before you dismiss this child as someone who is nothing to do with you.

Baby boomers who are involved in their children’s marital difficulties are usually innocent bystanders and so are the children of people whose private lives spiral into separation and eventual divorce. These things might be someone’s fault or perhaps ‘one of those things’ – whatever the circumstances, there is a certainty to consider – that no blame lies with the child. The child is simply another victim of unfortunate events.

Psychological articles that examine human reaction to stress and the resulting rage that takes place when beloved grandchildren are removed from their extended family environment note that in time there are certain acceptances that might take place. The problem is that many children require a level of hospitality from their new family before that acceptance has taken place. When the loss of grandchildren is still raw and your son, in your opinion, is behaving like a complete idiot, here comes this child waiting to be accepted, wanting to play with your dog and eat at your table and help decorate the Christmas tree. It is deeply painful and hard to bear.

The point that baby boomers should remember is that children who are victims of their parents’ marriage break up are also vulnerable and desperately need as much understanding and love as you can give. If you cannot give love, give friendship for the time being.

The Psychological Article on The Cuckoo in the Nest: Welcoming a Step Grandchild to Your Family is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

Wiping the Slate Clean and Feeling Gratitude for Forgiveness

Tue, 13 Oct 2009 21:45:18 +0000

Psychology Articles by Boomeryearbook.com

We often hear the old line ‘If you do this or that I will never speak to you again’. For some baby boomers, this is simply a term of phrase; for others it is a very real and upsetting reminder of someone who has literally cut themselves off from all contact with an old friend or family member, causing a lifetime of pain and grief for others.

While certain individuals have the kind of nature that prevents them from being cross with a friend or family member who has offended them for very long, others have a talent for holding a grudge for weeks, months or even years. The human capacity for forgiveness is deeper and more encompassing than most people think: many of us who are certain we can never bring ourselves to speak to so-and-so ever again do so without reservation within a remarkably short time, once our tempers have cooled.

Psychological articles from the school of Positive Psychology investigate the enigma of gratitude; forgiveness; grudge-holding and the ability to wipe the slate clean and also reflect on the bargaining process that sometimes takes place prior to protagonists finally moving on. Baby boomers with a long term gripe might sometimes approach reconciliation gingerly; with a sneaky intention to rekindle an argument before finally agreeing to bury the hatchet, forgive and forget.

Gratitude for forgiveness is sometimes compromised by the inability of the significant other person to ‘wipe the slate clean’. Forgiveness with reserve is something that is frequently a substitute for an all embracing pardon. This reserve is a somewhat spiky parole for people who have gravely offended but who, for now, enjoy a certain acceptance – the three strikes and you are out rule! Baby boomers who have had a spectacular falling out with family members might often adopt this policy when dealing with a black sheep trying to return to the family fold.

Psychological articles point out that our emotional well being benefits immensely from having the ability to forgive and forget. Baby boomers harboring unreasonable grudges rarely profit from their obstinate resolve to remain at loggerheads with good friends or family who have somehow managed to offend them. Determined offence-takers might stretch a period of grudge for twenty or thirty years and in fact never speak to the offender again. It seems a shame that a wonderful human emotion such as forgiveness should be withheld as a weapon to punish transgressors.

Sexual offences between married couples are often played out in public when adultery and other unacceptable samples of poor behavior come to the attention of a close community. Shock and horror often follow when the husband or wife forgives his or her partner’s infidelity but in fact this forgiveness is a healthy and positive solution: it is also a better alternative than further conflict, separation and divorce. Forgiveness is too often perceived as weakness when in fact it is a strengthening and positive reaction to pain and offence.

Whenever presented with a choice, the thought from psychological articles from the school of Positive Psychology informs us to choose forgiveness; find joy; and reap the rewards of positive emotions.

The Psychological Article on Wiping the Slate Clean and Feeling Gratitude for Forgiveness is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

Boomeryearbook

Taking a Step Toward Feeling Joy

Tue, 13 Oct 2009 21:29:09 +0000

Finding Joy

Psychological Articles by Boomeryearbook.com

Baby boomers are quite good at positive feelings. On the whole, we are an optimistic lot who seek pleasurable ways to pass time and embrace our family and friends enthusiastically to retain a healthy and positive interaction with others.

Occasionally, however, things happen to upset our ability to feel joy. Life can bring shocks and dramas that detract from our capacity to experience the joyous side of our existence. Baby boomers must necessarily deal with losing friends and family during the years that constitute late middle age and old age. Bereavement can be a setback to experiencing joy on a daily basis and taking a step toward having that feeling again can take a little effort.

Psychological articles from the school of Positive Psychology analyse the feelings we have when we are recovering from life’s traumas. These might include bereavement, serious illness – our own and other peoples – divorce or separation late in life or even simply moving house. People re-locating in their twenties and thirties, or even their forties, might move house and find it an adventure but for baby boomers, the prospect of uprooting their lives represents emotional upheaval, requiring a period of rest before forming new routines. Joy is only possible after this process has taken place.

Joy is an emotion that is the extreme of happiness. It is an emotion that embraces all the positives on the scale – pure joy might be experienced only half a dozen times in a lifetime and for some, their personalities exclude them from feeling joy due to their poor interaction with others or their general cynical outlook. Children have a capacity for joy that adults lack, due in part to their ability to see everything as new and untouched.

Those with a limited amount of money often have a deeper understanding of how to appreciate joy. Whereas the absence of joy is something a great many members of the super rich community must deal with (however, some of us would welcome the opportunity to try!)

The presence of a great deal of money for some baby boomers might sometimes preclude a normal social interaction as extreme wealth removes the natural progression of work and reward in the conventional sense. Joy is therefore limited to the experiences that cannot be bought, such as family related events: celebrations such as birthdays and anniversaries; appreciation of beautiful and natural surroundings must replace the admiration others feel for things they cannot afford.

Psychological articles that explore joy as an emotion connect the experience to other intense emotions such as respect; awe; wonder; love. Baby boomers, with their wide experiences of joy in all in forms, sometimes take the emotion for granted when pursuing material gratification. The beauty of freshly fallen snow might escape a person trying to shovel a clear path on the driveway, for instance! Taking the step to admire the natural gifts life gives us is something we could all pay attention to as we strive to find joy in our daily routine.

The Psychological Article on Taking a Step Toward Feeling Joy is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

Boomeryearbook's Guide to Positive Psychology