Alcoholic Partner
Alcoholics can cause a great deal of trouble in the lives of the people nearest to them. Someone who is living with an alcoholic will know all about public and social embarrassment; being unable to attend functions where a standard of behavior might be required, finding bottles hidden in the house and car, feeling isolated, feeling used. An alcoholic with elderly problems might have been behaving this way for a great many years.
People who have this problem are living this way because they love the person who is dependant on alcohol and because they feel unable to abandon their responsibilities toward that person while they are in the grip of their addiction. A measure of compassion is always present within the personality of someone living with an alcoholic relative, whether it is a husband, a father, a grandmother or a son or daughter.
An older alcoholic and one displaying the symptoms of elderly problems as well as the all too obvious effects of their addiction can be quite a handful for a concerned relative. Alcoholics who have retired from their profession usually have time on their hands and this is one of the worst possible scenarios for a possible recovery from alcoholism: time spent alone at home is not conducive to a proactive approach to making changes. Taking steps to ensure an alcoholic spends a minimum of time in isolation can be helpful.
Two of the key elements when dealing with a resident alcoholic are calm and tranquillity. An alcoholic lives within turmoil, both emotionally and practically. However, do not mistake calm for compliance. It is possible to be firm and resolved without being loud and confrontational. Invariably behind every alcoholic who successfully completed the twelve steps to recovery there is a strong yet calm influence behind the scenes.
The misery of living with an alcoholic can be diffused by seeking the company of others in the same position. When someone who is alcoholic is living in close company with a supporter, the strain can begin to undermine the relationship, leading to the failure of a recovery program. Social interaction with other supporters of alcoholics can provide respite from this emotional pressure and make life easier to deal with. When the alcoholic also has elderly problems, or even if the supporter has to deal with their own elderly problems, the sharing process with others can dilute the possibility of failure on a recovery program.
Help groups are everywhere for alcoholics and for those who have to live with the repercussions of alcoholism. There is no need to be alone when addressing the effects of alcohol dependency and the social stigma of alcoholism need not be a permanent stain on an entire family. It is a matter of attitude and also a question of taking the right steps to deal with the isolation and depression which accompanies alcoholism.
Air the problem to the right audience and a dozen pairs of hands will come to the rescue.
Living With an Alcoholic is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.
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