By Boomeryearbook.com

Co-Dependency Alanon

The unfortunate aspect of being a drunk is that the bottle comes first: always. There are no boundaries an alcoholic will not trespass in order to secure his (or her) next drink. There are no moral limits to consider and no reason that is good enough to consider doing without that next drink.

An alcoholic who is seeking help is invariably doing so because he or she has no choice and life has reached a crisis point. How that crisis is dealt with can make the difference between an alcoholic going successfully along the twelve steps to recovery and failing miserably and tragically.

Some alcoholics are elderly and also have elderly problems that complicate their recovery process. An elderly alcoholic has certain other issues to deal with, not the least of which is the illusion that they know better than everyone else due to their senior years and experience. This, of course, is complete nonsense: an elderly alcoholic with elderly problems has as much chance of recovery or failure as any other alcoholic. The plaintive excuse, “I can’t face a recovery program at my age” is one that will brook no sympathy at any self help group meeting and one which will likely be met with justifiable impatience.

Supporting a recovering alcoholic requires the patience of a saint and considerable fortitude. Elderly alcoholics with elderly problems often have more time at home in which to indulge in secret drinking, if they are so inclined, whereas younger addicts have the slight recovery advantage of being busier throughout the day. The resolve to cleanse an addiction such as alcoholism requires enormous determination and although the support of family and friends is invaluable, it is the alcoholic who must take on the obligation to change and change permanently.

When dealing with an adult addiction, it is impossible to follow a person around twenty four seven to ensure he or she does not pick up a bottle and it is rare to find a recovering alcoholic who has not ‘fallen off the wagon’ at some stage. What is important is not how many times the person falls off the wagon but that he or she immediatelyclimbs back on it again. This is when support really comes into its own and when the help and love provided by a supporter will help keep a recovering addict on the straight and narrow and ready to try again.

It is important to understand that a supporter of a recovering alcoholic needs to be just that – supportive. Not cloying; not the kind of person who finds excuses for inexcusable lapses, not a clinging leech who interferes and supervises every basic task the addict attempts, not a watchdog and not someone who is weak enough to succumb to self pity. The alcoholic, especially one old enough to have elderly problems, is practiced enough at that and a supporter needs to demonstrate a more positive outlook.

Supporters for recovering alcoholics should study the twelve recovery stages, attend an Alanon program, and discreetly monitor the alcoholic’s progress without being intrusive unless it is absolutely necessary.

Putting the Bottle Second: Supporting an Alcoholic Through the Twelve Stages of Recovery is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

Boomer Yearbook is a Social Network and Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

By Boomeryearbook.com

Co-Dependency Alanon

Being an alcoholic is no fun and certainly nobody denies that addiction is a form of sickness in whatever shape it presents. However, being closely associated with an alcoholic is also no bed of roses and entire families are affected by the social behavior of someone in the grip of alcohol addiction.

For a long term partner, wife or husband, there is a certain obligation felt to help the addict and support them in seeking professional help. For young children and teenagers there are often deeper issues to address, some of which are not aired for months or years as the family struggles to help control the effects of addiction.

When an alcoholic is living within a large family structure, it is reasonable to assume they take up a great deal of attention that might usually be required to help younger members of the family through difficulties caused by adolescence such as exams and teenage physical development. Teenagers already have a battle with hormones: add Grandma’s elderly problems and Dad’s alcohol addiction to the mix and you have a recipe for daily explosive family confrontations.

Extreme addiction to alcohol produces some unpleasant problems, not the least of which is financial. Alcoholism is an expensive addiction and one that requires a constant cash injection to sustain an adequate supply of liquor. Cash spent on a bottle is no longer available for the things teenagers tend to think are essential to life, such as clothes, cell phones and money for entertainment. The lack of funds can make a youngster resent the cause of ‘not being able to do stuff’.

The younger members of the family, although sympathetic to elderly problems, tend to view addiction as an indulgence. Resentment causes teenagers to feel angry, which in turn can cause them to act out or rebel and as psychological articles by Alanon explain, so the vicious circle goes on and on…

An even greater problem occurs when the addict is a mother. Mothers who have an alcohol addiction have multiple problems to overcome for a number of reasons. Women often provide the daily routine in the house, beginning with getting the children out of bed in the mornings to eat their breakfast and ending with putting them to bed at night after a supposedly nutritious supper and a warm bath. All of this breaks down when late into the morning or early afternoon, the lady of the house is sleeping off a bottle induced stupor.

The result is that other members of the family, some of whom might be trying to cope with elderly problems, must take over the household responsibilities while Mom sobers up in the corner – or not, as the case may be. Many American homes are being run by elderly grandparents because parents are either absent or drunk. The social difficulties faced by these reluctant caretakers are immense and in some cases, insurmountable.

Alcoholism A Family Affair How Alcoholism Affects the Entire Family Structure is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

Boomer Yearbook is a Social Network and Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!

Co-Dependency Alanon

By Boomeryearbook.com

Alcoholism has an unfortunate way of sneaking up on people. It begins with loved ones having a drink or two after work or sharing a bottle of wine with dinner. The effect is pleasing; conducive to chatty interchange and has the added benefit of loosening the tongue for those who, when sober, have a tendency to shyness.

The effects are even more pronounced if more alcohol is consumed. Suddenly the bottle of wine is no longer shared. The drink or two after work turns into a four hour drinking binge every night and work colleagues begin to avoid the person, not wishing to be associated with a heavy drinker and also perhaps finding the person’s activities distasteful as drunken behavior begins to more prominently feature.

Not everyone who enjoys a drink is an alcoholic. People in general display different reactions to alcohol and not everyone who can consume enormous amounts of alcohol will be addicted to it. However, an addict will be unable to sustain a sensible relationship with alcohol and will usually be unable, once in its grip, to turn away from alcohol without some form of formal help and support.

Elderly alcoholics might also have elderly problems. Elderly alcoholics will usually have been drinking out of control for many years but one or two exceptions may have turned to alcohol following bereavement or trauma; even the shock of unwanted retirement can sometimes push a person’s alcohol dependency to an unacceptable level. For people with elderly problems who might be on strong medication for age related diseases, alcohol can be extremely dangerous.

Simply taking away the bottle will not be a long term solution to the problem. Someone with an alcohol dependency will move heaven and earth to find a bottle if they are so inclined and addicts are notoriously clever at finding ways to secretly drink. The older a person is, the more likely they are to have perfected a system of drinking secretly and the more annoyed they are likely to be when their subterfuge is finally exposed.

Within a family unit, an elderly drinker with elderly problems might be a grandmother or grandfather accustomed to a level of respect from younger members of the family. Often the drinker is someone who has enjoyed the affection and esteem of the family for many years and only now is being revealed as an alcoholic without sufficient control of his or her drinking. This represents a problem for the family as it is important the alcoholic is faced with the reality of having an alcohol dependency that is out of control.

Taking Granpa by the hand and telling him his drinking will be covered up by the rest of his faithful clan is certainly not going to help him sort out his problems. Seek professional medical help in the first instance, followed by joining a self help support group to kick start a positive approach to drinking for those with elderly problems.

The Hidden Bottle: Dealing with an Alcoholic is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

Boomer Yearbook is a Social Network and Psychological Articles for Baby Boomers. Connect with old and new friends, or expand your mind and ward off senior moments and elderly problems with dream analysis and online optical illusions and brain games provided by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Turner. Join other Baby Boomers to stay informed, receive weekly Newsfeeds, and let your opinions be heard. Baby boomers changed the world. We’re not done yet!